"Do you speak English?"
This is the phrase I've been using the most this past week. And some of the time I actually use the male/female versions correctly. But mostly I ask women if they speak using the male pronoun and vice versa. Luckily no one thinks I'm insulting them- just that I'm a yarr tourette, a tourist. One of the most unexpected things about coming to Israel is how much French is spoken. When my limited vocabulary ("yes""no""big") doesn't work the endless stream of Morrocan Jews seem to appear. The result is a bizarre mix of French, Hebrew and English. Amazing my brain is adapting at all!
Today I went to the mall by myself and was met with many people who did not indeed, medabear Angleet. The most certantly did indeed medabear Eevreet (Hebrew) and this seemed to cause all kinds of problems. Some things I've noticed- as a general rule Israelie stores NEVER have mirrors in the dressing rooms. You have to go outside in what may be a hidous outfit for the whole world to see. Not conducive to the shopping experience.
The only time people do speak english is in American stores like Aldo and Nine West.
PS
I'm not paying $400 sheckels for a pair of shoes that would be like $20 in NY.
Although I was able to haggle with a vendor on the street. I got him to drop the price by 10 sheckels. It was probably lik 20 sheckels less but I'm not putting up a fight when all I can really say is "No big! No big!"
I shared a cab ride home with a bunch of young kids. This was not by design or choice. The taxi drivers here just stop, pick people up, and shove you in. A trip that should take 10 minutes turns into 30. AND EVERYONE wants to know where you're from. "NY? Can? LJGHIUHENBKJMNDCnm,n,msxnckncskmnk,j...." Well that's how it sounds to me anyway. The kids were very nice, looked like the kind of teeny bopper MTV teens you'd see from Long Island. They had balloons and hearts for the chaag Valentines Day. I was able to speak a little in Hebrew, they were able to speak a little in English, and we all parted feeling satisfied in our brilliance.
