Kawaii Kwotes

A woman in East Hampton has been sent "ambergris, the storied substance created in the intestines of a sperm whale and spewed into the ocean. Also called “whale’s pearl” or “floating gold,” ambergris is a rare and often valuable ingredient in fine perfumes." However no one is sure if it IS ambergris since as Larry Penny, director of East Hampton’s natural resources department notes, they have no way of making a definite determination, because
“we don’t keep a certified whale-vomit expert on staff.”

This is nuts!

Far be it for me to complain about warm weather. Still when it's 60 degrees in December one has to wonder whether that's a good sign. Case in point: squirrels. Today I came to the realization that the city is STILL STRONG with squirrels despite the fact that they should be hibernating in their warm beds this time of year. I saw three very active squirrels between 86th st and 59th st... fat it's true.... but not sleeping or even sleepy. If the flippin squirrels are confused surely something must be up. I was able to ignore the trees that still have leaves, the total lack of snow- but poor confused squirrels? Some how that just seems cruel.

Uuuuck

A lot of what I've been doing- other than twisting my ankle from all the running- is eating the holiday presents my bosses got. Huge boxes of chocolates and cookies that none of these skinny ladies will touch... except me. Yes, I am aware it's "holiday not holi-month" (thank you weight watchers), yes I would prefer to fit in my fat pants, but when it's 6pm and a bag of gourmet dark chocolate pretzels is staring you in the face tell me how strong you are.

Fur Lord's Sake

Now I'm no PETA lovin paint thrower. I was raised wearing fur (yes I know- "Boooooo"), but I was also raised to love animals (has anyone not seen my crazed devotion to my cat?!) But this... THIS is just wrong. Yes, some dogs can't handle cold weather and need a coat but FUR ON FUR?! This is pretty sick people. Apparently it happened at a German dog show this past week. I guess this isn't to crazy considering the Germans also brought us Nazi's and Shaitza videos. Thank god the dogs don't have on little swastka arm bands!

Kurrent Kawaii Krap

There is a lot going on in the world of super badass kawaii right now even if I don't report on in as much as I should.

For starters there is Iyashi kyara , "characters that are not just cute but give people who see them a sense of relief and warmth". These are basically the SAN-X looking Japanime like Tare Panda who I used to be so obsessed with that my AOL image was him doing flips.

And then of course there is the RL Ricky bag which can go 20,000+ when you get crocodile involved. I don't actually want to spend a car down payment on a purse (unless I could do so without issue) so I'm instead setting my alarm clock early and heading down to the RL employee handbag sample sale. My goal: a ricky bag to call my own for a steal.

Last is flats- as in the shoe not the tire. Running around in high heels is very unkawaii. Would I wear geta? Good question- yes I would- but to Ralph, probably not.

Ralph and I

If you had told me I would end up in fashion I would have called you a liar. Especially after my Devil Meets Prada "ELLE" internship all those years ago. But here I am- I guess you can't fight loving clothes. It's day 3 of my getting into the RL Collection groove. It is really hard and everyone is super-humanly talented. I don't have a desk which is lame, but we're moving in 2 weeks for to prepare for the February fashion show so really does 2 more weeks of my life without a desk matter that much? What I have learned so far. I need flats. Heels simply will not do. I'm on my feet all day and 2 days of heels made my feet bleed. So this weekend I need to buy flats- lots of them. ooOOOps gotta go....

HAPPY DAY!

I got a job.
No lie.
As an admin for Ralph Lauren Women's Collection (Couture).
I am so excited I haven't been able to type or stop shaking all day.
I am going to be working so hard, but I am so happy.

Joining the circus is not just for kids

I love remembering being 14 and in the circus. It was one of the few times in my life I was cut and active. I loved have callused hands, being able to flip, having the foresight that being in the circus was a badass thing I could whip out in old age (oh you were on track? How nice. I was on the freakin trapeze!)
But cancer decided that I wasn't going to be in Cirque D'Solel.
Losing the circus was for me right up there with going bald.
And so, as the years passed and I developed a mediocre physical ability (never was able to flip as a high diver, can't go up a flight of stairs unwinded) I always reached back for a time I actually didn't suck and my body listened to me. Over the past few months I've tried to fix what's wrong with my life and move forward. I couldn't help but notice a sign on a local church for acrobatics. I walked by this thing 50,000 times before I ate crow and went in yesterday. I was excited and scared, but I figured if I'm taking illustration what harm can another useless class do? The dude heading the classes is named Rudy. His body aches with 50+ years of gymnastics and he's bald but nice and wise like Master Joo. He told me to show up today at 5:30 and see if I liked it.
So I showed up and took a "class" with 10-17 year olds. The scary part was getting along with them. Is it normal to be 24 and have 12 year olds think your awesome? I was scared because I never did trampoline but that was what we were doing. It was fun, and hard! Who knew? I told Rudy I wanted to get back into trapeze or rather, the "silks", which is a form of aerial I was never taught because my French trainer said I wasn't strong enough. Rudy said I could try going on the silks next week! Yea, right now my life IS random. But exciting!

A house divided will fall

Here are the great words of a great man: Abe Lincoln. And on this election day, a time when the phrase "those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it" seems appallingly clear, has it never been more apparent that the reds and blues are divided- and we're all going to suffer as a result. I did my patriotic duty today and voted. I've voted in every election I've been allowed since I turned 18- and even though everyone who was running was a rich immoral bastard I knew it would be even more immoral to let to Republicans keep raping America. So I dragged my ass to the 29th district voting center.

Here's how I vote. It is tres unscientific. And I wish to share it with all the people who spend trillions of dollars figuring out how to get unemployed jerks like me to vote for rich jerks like them. I do one of three things.
1) If I've seen crap about you on the news I'm not voting for you. Killed your mistress? Done coke? You're an asshole- go to hell I'm not voting for you! So automatically unless your on the bill next to Satan, you don't have my vote.
2) You're republican (usually). This is not always the case. Sometimes if the republican is a woman or a Jew or their name sounds nicer then the Dem. they'll have my vote. That's right- watch what you name your kids because shmucks like me are influenced by it.
3) I like the sound of your name. Now I'm not repeating prior statement because "name" can mean many things. Personal tag true (Sam, Ben, Yolanda), but also PARTY name. Take today's example:

I hate everyone running in NY. It seems they're all corrupt and hate me more then I hate them. And they want MY VOTE? So I stepped into that booth wanting to do as little evil for my future as possible. Yea what can 1 vote do? But it's all the power I currently have and I'm molesting it. So I walk in the booth and I see Dem., Rep. (both jerks won't give them my vote) independent (same as Rep.), Green (I like SUV and fur, never going to happen), Socialist (I had a vague memory of hearing that socialists were bad so it was a no-go) and then- I shit you not- I saw the NAME. It was so perfect. I hope somebody go a raise for thinking it up. Probably not because I'd never heard of the party in my life which tells me it has no $$$. It was called the "Rent is the too high" party.
I loved it.
Their second platform could've been killing all first born, but who cared? Rent is to high! I agree! Can I give you 2 votes for creativity? Where can I buy a button? Who wouldn't vote for this party? As I left that booth confident I'd made the world a little better I came away with more than a new party affiliation but a historical truth:
Voting is KAWAII

3rd Bloomberg interview

I am puking my guts out over my 3rd bloomberg interview this coming Monday. I spent a small fortune at SAKS buying a suit jacket, practiced what to say in an interview with my bro Eric, and now can only wait and hope. I'm so used to getting rejected that coming so close is scary. I'll be meeting HR and two executives. I'm going to go in their full throttle, dressed to the nines and ready to take the "bull by the horns" so to speak (sorry bad market pun).

See I'm making stock jokes already!

Enjoy Party!!

I was shocked and delighted today when I opened up my mailbox and was greeted by a package from Tim, my pen pal in Japan! It contained a groovy fashion article and a spirit raising collection of "HelloKitty x Rody" Halloween cell phone charms!!!They were, apparently, part of a drink promotion (I'm guessing Lipton since that's the name on the packaging), and some how he managed to grab me all 8. My personal favorites are Hello-frankitty-stein and Hello-pumkitty-head. Right in time for my most loved holiday, with job stress high, it was a wonderful treat!

Because Big Brothers and Sisters rock

Here is the amazing Hello Kitty Wallet David and Sophia brought me back from Japan! Gold and studded in rhinestones- HELLO could it be any more PERFECT?

French Fried Adorable

I have some kind of sick fascination with San-X Nyanko- those cute kitties put into plush food. I call it "sick" because I can't justify loving cats and also some how being attracted to these plushes. I don't want to eat cats normally, how come the idea this image isn't totally repulsive, I don't know.

Here are some cat fries I came accross. So kawaii I almost wanted to go to McDonald's and put some french fries on a leash.

Remembering is Kawaii!

I visited my friend Ali today, quite a feet considering she is buried out in the boonies of NJ and actually finding her headstone took an hour. Turns out today is the 5th anniversary of her passing. I had thought it fell last Tuesday. Something about her and I- she always let me know when it was important to come say "hi". I left her orchids and chatted. She was buried next to a highway so cars kept zooming by pumping rap. I felt bad because it's the kind of cemetery you put someone in to literally lose them. There are thousands of graves on top of each other. It took me a map and two tries to find her. But the site is maintained- which is better then an over turned headstone! It felt great to finally go see her. I was ready, and glad her sister was able to give me the info on the cemetery.

I suppose this is a tad dark for a blog posting Hello Kitty and baby photos- so in lighter news I had illustration class tonight. Tough as always. I told master Joo I thought he was very wise and he liked it. He thinks a person hasn't lived unless they have regrets. Not sure how many regrets I have. But that's his pearl for this week!

Bloomberg really is a tough cookie

I took the Bloomberg test today. You sit at a computer in the middle of the very active newsroom to take it. 10 questions on finance- most of which I didn't know but tried my damndest to BS- then I had to edit a story down to a 40 second snippit for the news and then write two "40 second" news stories. Overall I didn't walk out with my tail between my legs but did get a good beating. I'll get the results in a few weeks and let you know then!

Liam's first Bday

What brings pizza eating, music loving, cake sucking Gomberg's together? Why my nephew Liam's Birthday party of course! A year older, here he is:

I'm fat. No really.

Ahhhhh to live in Japan where I could spend all day every day in figure shrouding kimono. But alas I live in NYC where jeans are the norm and I've come to accept two horrible facts:
1) I no longer fit in my jeans
2) I am to poor to buy new jeans

With the cold weather approaching stretchy skirts won't do even with leggings. So I was forced to answer the horrible "what to do?" Well I like my old jeans, they may not fit but they're cute. And as I rapidly head toward the obese end of five feet tall.... today I came face to face with my demon. Fat, thy name is weight watchers.

Does any sensible person want to shell out $13 a week to gather en-masse and complain about food? Not really. But last year when I weighed much less and joined, and the points system worked. So I'm doing it again. The idea of not eating chicken fried rice is awful. And points don't say you can't eat stuff, just to limit what you can eat. Whatever- send support my way troups!

Good day

I took my cat Nigel into the vet today. I have no idea why he had such attitude, but thank god I was there as a buffer between him and the vet. He is on eye drops now because apparently condos on the upperwestside can still lead to conjunctivitus. Saw Peter and that was a treat. He had to leave for work but it still felt good to see him. And then I spent 2 hours up to my eyeballs in paint making a birthday gift for my nephew Liam 1rst b-day. I was so inspired I filled out an application to work there. Speaking of work I've been active applying everywhere which keeps me feeling positive and like I'm not sitting on my ass. I even applied for a graphic internship- maybe those SVA classes can go to some use. Meanwhile I finished the day by having lunch with my girlfriend Meredith. Her and I are going out to visit her sister next Tuesday. It will be 5 years since Ali passed and we're finally ready to see the stone. I predict either serious tears, or serious peace. Either way I feel blessed Ali put Meredith in my life.

Velvet D'amour

Why is there not more on Google about this great model? I used to love Sophie Dahl before she became a skinny clone and started writing bad books (you're no Roald Dahl sweetie!)Three cheers to Gautier, Entertainment Tonight and the fashion industry for allowing a real woman to walk the runway! If you too are a fan of the tres kawaii Velvet then let me know. If enough people respond I will try and start some kind of unofficial fan blog.

Did you know today is Columbus Day?

I didn't. I went to cartoon illustration class and was greeted by no one. Greeeeeat. I've been so flustered lately that I didn't risk the subway ride back and sprung the $15 for a cab ride home. Now I'm poorer and grumpier then before.
Man did I earn my Ambien tonight.

What I want now: Kawaii Joy online

Maybe you're bored and saying to yourself, "Look at all this money I have, why I should spend it on Halli, surely that would bring both her and I eternal happiness. But what can I get her? The internet is such a big place, how do I know what she really wants?"
No need to fear my friend. Here is the first 5 of ten kawaii installments I'm currently craving and the links to-where-to-buy-them-online.

1. AZUKI RED BEAN GRAINS exfoliant has been used by geisha's and refined Japanese women for centuries to buff the skin and clean the pores. And if you want to make it a "twofer" then throw in some nightingale droppings to lighten and brighten my skin!

2. "Halli, I'm not buying you bird poop" -OK, that's fine- how about a bear? Paddington Bear couldn't be hotter in Japan or in the nostalgic cockles of my heart.

3. Of course if teddy bears leave you a bit dry you can head to the home of a kawaii on the net. I'd like the "seven lucky gods" plush set, or pretty much anything that involves stickers.

4. Because I think Chanel black is over rated my #1 cute color polish is
wicked by essie. Buy me a bottle and I'll be one happy nightingale.

5. Queen Elizabeth isn't just kawaii,
she's fucking badass.Buy me one of her miniature paintings or replica necklaceto get on my good side.

Tim San and Bloomberg San honor me

I had my first interview at Bloomberg today. I feel like it went better then expected for a change. I've been invited back to take a test- the only way to pass said test is to watch Bloomberg and read the Wallstreet Journal everyday- but a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do. Feeling rather cheery after the hopeful interview I came home to the package from TimSan I have been waiting for, for what felt like forever.PS Grape Pocky candy (not so kawaii), Paddington Bear (awesome), and so so sad! My favorite Hostess is quitting the biz~ don't they all?! Maybe I'll just have to go out to japan to replace her!

Artistic genius is tres kawaii

I was late to my illustration class last night. Blame Ralph Lauren for letting the job interviews run longer then expected. I was in such a dash to get to class that I shelled out $15 for a taxi and still arrived an hour late. I was expecting my first illustration critic to bring me to tears. But to my shock my collage was the best one there! Master Joo was full of praise, and I was both humbled and honored. Later is class Master Joo showed us his work. He's a painter who works in arcylics (gotta love a fellow acrylic user), and he also uses pen. His work was DARK. Dripping breasts and angry vaginas- turns out Master Joo had a very bad divorce that lead to him trying to cleanse his style and his soul. Thus his deep spiritually driven comments about life. Here are the three collages I did. I have to paint the little boy for next weeks class (thrills). If it comes out OK I'll post it here too.

Beta fish rock

Last week my friend Kevin (NJ Pong champion) won me a beta fish at the San Ginero festival in Little Italy. Other than being awesome (gotta love a man who wins you stuff- even just a friend), I was afraid my poor fish wouldn't be long for this world. Carnival fish aren't exactly renowned for living ions. More like hours. The fish, who I named Seymour, was in cloudy water with a dead bumble bee!!! He was a real fighter though, surviving the trip up town on the subway. I promptly cleaned out his bowl, washed the rocks, and after filling the bowl with evian put Seymour back in. The next day I bought him a little flower, some food, and medicine. My theory was that if he was going to die at least he'd be comfortable. Plus I was giving him something he'd never had- a fighting chance.

Well it's been over a week now. After medicine, two square meals a day, and all the evian he can swim in Seymour seems active and, if it's possible for a fish, happy. I'm not totally convinced he's out of danger yet- I still put medicine in his bowl and watch to see if he's floating upside down. But at least I know he's comfortable, and that, in itself, is a good start to a relationship.

Otabe Wagashi

Otabe Wagashi- I believe it's a pastry- put out these super cute geisha ads! If the jingle doesn't have you bouncing then the super cute costume sure will!

Consistency is awesome

As I sit here fighting a cold (actual interviews coming up THURS/FRI and I don't want to be a sneezing mess)I've been searching for new cute characters to add to my ever growing list of Japanamation cuties. Introducing the 'Little Burgers', ' Toilet Paper Boy' and "Crux white goat". The only place I was able to find them was on http://www.kawaiigifts.com. Try googling the bastards and you get nothing. Aren't they adorable? If anyone knows the story behind these little guys let me know!

Doggie dancing

I was inspired after watching an episode of "King of the Hill" to go searching the web for dog dancing. Here is a link to a dog dancing video. It's disturbing for the beastial nature of the song choice, and maybe the one to many times the owner lifts her legs. Enjoy!

SHICHI GO SAN

On November 15th SHICHI GO SAN will hit Japan. It is a holiday where literally 7, 5, and 3 year olds (or just young children) are celebrated and taken to temple to pray for health and long life. Boys aged five put on hakama for the first time in public.
Girls aged seven began using obi sash to tie their kimono, instead of cords.

And also they get to eat chitose-ame (longevity candy)- which I'm sure interests them much more then cords and hakama. Shaped like a stick it must, as best as I can figure, either taste like chocolate or peppermint (some sites say chitose-ame is red and white). Of note in the above pic is my new favorite kawaii character Peko-chan who reminds me of the American Cambells soup kids (only much cooler).

WTK?

I think this is a Cosplay site.... or something to do with Japanese spokes models who loves elves. Either way the photos are a trip! Do not miss mainichi

p.s. I wanted to post an EX picture but the site doesn't let you cut and paste- earning them the first WTK(awaii)? award

David-san and Sophia-San tour Japan!

Well here they are, pictures of my brother and sister-in-laws trip to Japan. So many amazing shots... here are just a few.


Holy fucking crap is that a GEISHA??


Is it just me, or is sumo more erotic then I recalled?






Sophia pulls a geisha herself and helps perform a tea ceremony

Master Joo

I had my first illustration class tonight. Drawing, unlike so many things in my life, is something I've never tired of. I do it constantly- without thinking- it's never a chore. Still I always knew attending art school or class would be a gamble. My artistic hubris is thin- the fear my work is but a trifle has kept it hidden in books on a shelf. So it was no easy task when I stepped through the SVA doors and entered the class room of Joo Chung, perhaps the first Joo in a long time to make sense. I'm pretty sure Chung is a Chinese name- which makes for a less perfect tale. It's kind of like loving American culture and finding a great model in a Canadian. Master Joo has been teaching at SVA for 25 years. I've decided to call him Master Joo privately as everything he says are pearls of wisdom for the ages. For ex "If you see yourself doing pictures for $20 that's all you'll do" or "pro vs. Amateur: One is doing it and one is trying". He preaches to go and do what makes you happy instead of doing a job you hate. Just do it (Nike be damned). It won't be easy, but I hope to learn much from Master Joo.

FU!

In my online quest for an uber cute Maneki I came across this little guy with a gold coin for happiness. Turns out the Japanese word for happiness is fuku- I am just dying to hear someone say that in the middle of a crowded English speaking room.

7 Gods of Luck

I am really into this "luck" thing- in Greece I bought an evil eye to keep said evil away, my mom got me a bronze pomegranit for prosperity- I even purchased silver charms normally reserved for Catholics to give luck to me and my home. So now it seems only natural that my quest for luck has turned Japanese. First on my list of things I simply must get is a Daruma. This badass little man comes with no eyes- you draw in one eye and make a wish- when the wish comes to fruition then you can draw in the second eye. Then of course there are the seven lucky gods- my favorite is Ebisu because he's the one that originated in Japan (vs India or China). Ebisu is the god of good fortune- plus he's often represented by fish which is cool because I've been told my lucky Indian sign are the two goldfish.

And then- last but not least- the happy cat. I have wanted one of these for ions but I can never find just the right one. Maneki Neko, as he is known, has always had a place in my heart. Probably because I am three bricks short of a load when it comes to cats. Now if I could just find a Hello Kitty Maneki Neko- that would be tres kawaii.

Yurui

Yurui has come to mean "lazy" in Japanese slang- although it once stood for "loose, or not tight"; "not well regulated"; "moist and lacking in firmness"- go figure. In my never ending quest to move out and get a job I have been trying my darndest to not be yurui, still I find doubt lingering. No matter how many websites I search, or follow up letters I write the festering fear of being yurui and not doing enough lingers. Still I know applying to a job at 5am on a Sunday is better then not applying at all. And that, by nature, is tres kawaii.

BORED

Time is going soooo slow today. Maybe it's the rain, or not knowing what to do with my life, or the fact that at 3pm I'm meeting for a "general" interview at Ralph Lauren and I have no idea what to say. What the hell do I say? And in a really awful turn of events I recieved my Newhouse alumni email and realized I've become 3 of the top 10 "Don't do's":
-3. IAN "I¹LL DO ANYTHING" - Ian is so desperate he¹s lost all focus (if he had any to start with). He spends his time answering classified ads and stresses his willingness to 'do anything' with contacts. Remember: Employers are looking for candidates that know what skills they have to offer and how those skills will benefit the company. Unfocused job hunters usually turn to passive job hunting methods like classifieds rather than getting the focus from themselves. They come across as desperate and are unable to convey how they can help employers effectively. GET FOCUSED (see #5 below).

-5. CASSIE "CLASSIFIED" - Cassie spends her days applying to job openings she sees online. She's applied to over 100 in the past few months and has had a couple of interviews but no offers. She really feels she's working hard on her job search. Classifieds are a great supplement to your job search but they are not, in themselves, a job search. A better way to use classified ads is to investigate the company first and try to talk to someone BEFORE you apply. If you see a job that interests you, research the company and call or email asking to speak to someone in the dept where the opening is. Don't identify yourself as a job candidate or mention that 'I saw you have an opening.' Once price is on the table, they'll just refer you to HR or tell you to apply and hang up. Tell them you're interested in what they do and would he/she give you five minutes? Then network. Iff they like what they hear, they'll probably tell you about the opening. Not only will you have an in but you also have an opening line for your letter when you apply - "I spoke with _____________ in your production department." Better yet, ask the person if you can send your resume/letter to him/her directly. Will this work every time? No, but try to become a 'who do you know' rather than remain an anonymous job applicant.

6. DUDLEY "DO NOTHING" - Dudley sits at home and feels sorry for himself. His contacts 'aren't helping him, there are no jobs out there and no one's calling him.' He¹s given up. Remember: Successful job hunters have focus, have done their research and let people know they¹re out there through networking. Get your focus by determining what skills you want to use on the job, creating a list of places that need your skills and developing a target list of specific companies that fit your geographic market. Do your homework - know what those companies do and start letting people know you¹re out there. Join professional organizations. Find out what job hunt techniques worked for people in jobs of interest to you. And what didn¹t work for them. As "What Color is Your Parachute" author Richard Bolles says, 'If you don¹t know how to find a job, talk to successful job hunters.' Also, put in the time in job hunting activities that pay off. Be honest with yourself. If you're only dedicating two hours a week surfing the Internet for job leads, you shouldn't be surprised that you're not working. Job hunting takes time and effort. NO ONE IS GOING TO FIND YOU. You need to make yourself known.

CATwaii

Here are Mixed Cats! " ...created in November, 1992 originally for stationary items" I love them- they combine everything fluffy with sanrio- like crack for the cute addict! Meanwhile my brother David is in Japan as I post!!! I'm and tres jealous and know he and his wife sophia are having a great time!

One in a million

Well I just got back from Greece. Amazing- exhausting- would do it again without my mom in tow- but still great. Out of the 300000000000 pics taken here are two I think make me look cute. Just in case you need a recent Halli pic fix!