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Liam

Jack

Who likes Lileks?

If you've been reading Kawaii NYC lately (and apparently some of you actually do), you will have noticed my unflinching devotion to Lileks.com. This image comes from said site- all be it I have edited it down to the part of the picture that REALLY grabbed my attention. At first you can't help but notice how ungodly hairy this man is, not to mention a face only a mother could love. Is that a sweater under his...wait a minute! WHAT is he wearing? Matching low cut body suits with BOWS, BELLBOTTOMS, and thong high heels? No wonder they made him look so macho- any other fellow in the same outfit and you'd question if you were looking at a man at all! I'm surprised they didn't give him a handle bar mustache and a sign that says "Really, I'm not gay". I wonder how many of these actually sold?

So true

Next I'll be relating to DILBERT

NINJA

Many thanks to my good friends and siblings who joined me last night to celebrate my birthday. I had such a perfect time and it meant so much you could all be there! For those of you who missed me after 2 sakes and 2 lychee bellinis- I started with salmon, had luscious steak in teriaki as a main, and cheesecake shaped like a frog for dessert. The magician was also pretty good- the only thing that could of made the dinner better was if Ninjas descended from the ceiling with our food in their hands. True, turning 24 isn't easy, but with friends and family like I have it was a pleasure!

Happy Birthday to Nigel

9 years ago today my fluffy-wuffy-shnookie-buns came into this world with the goal of fitting into every box he saw and rolling on his back to look adorable. After a rousing "Happy birthday" chorus from me and my mom I gave Nigel some treats. By the time I left for work he had the most confused look on his face. I guess over zealous pampering followed by abandonment can be a little disconcerting. Speaking of zealous pampering- three cheers for my Dad who took me and my family out to the 4 seasons last night to celebrate how 24 years ago today my mom was only 96 hours away from giving birth to his only daughter. I had poached pears with prosciutto, bison with foi gras, and strawberry shortcake. Not to mention the now infamous tower of cotton candy my sister-in-law Yonina and I so thoroughly enjoyed (we both agreed it was "circus grade"). All in all a great night- so far this is shaping up to be a very kawaii week indeed!

Happy Birthday to me

All my friends are well aware of what a japanophile I am. Nothing that even hints at "geisha" or "harajuku" flits past them without some reference to me. But alas, despite the best intentions, my friends aren't in Japan and can only humor my love of everything Kawaii.
Until of course I met Tim of Porcelain Monkey.
Tim, who lives and teaches in Japan, and also has a wicked sense of style (boy can this man wrap a package) has been generous enough to send me an early birthday present. It includes tabi (traditional socks) for my new geta, the most kawaii stickers ever produced, a Hello Kitty lock which is going to go on all my luggage from now on, and articles on one of my weirder interests: the maid cafes and hostess bars of Japan. So far 24 is shaping up to be one of the best b-days ever!

Congrads to Katie

Life is hard. For the love of god 2 year olds are learning violin and Japanese to get into PRE K- so you can imagine the hoops one has to jump through to get into grad school. Make that HARVARD GRAD SCHOOL. Well my friend Katie who could sneeze and win a noble prize has managed this seemingly impossible feet. One can only hope she won't forget her humble SU roots while hob-nobbing it with the Harvard intelligentsia! If you want to send you Mazel Tov's to Katie be sure to post them here under the "comment" section of this post.

Ocular Migraines suck!

AS I sit here writing this I am mostly blind due to an ocular migraine. So I apologize if my writing is sloppier than usual. Sadly I am at work where I can't just go sleep my blindess off- so I took two exedrin and am praying my site should return to normal in about an hour. Ocular migraines, unlike regular head migraines, don't cause that much- if any- pain. What DOES happen is you go blind (no joke) in the majority of your eyes and what you can see is small and unfocused at best. Usually if I drug myself the instant I feel it happening (and you can tell since you ARE suddenly blind and all) I drug myself and the blindess doesn't last nearly as long. But after a year of beating around the bush I have decided to actually go to my dad's migraine doctor for help because going blind has serious disadvantages! For exaple I'd love to read over this posting and correct it for errors but I'm to blind to do so! This is why teaching kids to type without looking is a good idea, in case of ocualr migraines they're still able to bitch in their blogs!

Now I know why they have secretary's day

Being a secretary, while mostly easy, is hard as heck if no one ever trained you and your groping in the dark. My usual theory is ignore a problem if you don't know how to fix it and maybe it will fix itself. But it's amazing the stuff I've managed to not do because no one told me to do it. I'm not saying it's a good thing- far from it! It's a horrible thing doing your job wrong and not knowing it. No one telling you how to do expense reports (super important) or to issue a travel authorization (super duper important) leads to phone calls months later asking, "excusing me but where is this unbelievably important bit of paper you never gave me?" The good thing about making mistakes is once you do, you never forget. Still- it sucks to make them at all!

All hail Lileks.com!

Observe the first case of computer porn- lovingly copied from Lileks.com (one of the best sites ever). Apparently this computer computed a woman with perfect measurements, not to mention a trendy Mary Tyler Moore hairdo! Who knew computers were so turned on by bouffants? No need to fear porn- you are gonna make it after all!

Happy White Day!

Today in Japan men are faithfully plying women with chocolates, stuffed animals and flowers in retribution for Valentines day. My white day came came early curtesy of my penpal Tim- but for those of you who love an excuse to pester your male loved ones into ponying up some treats here is your chance! Remember, everyday is a holiday somewhere- just look it up! That's what google is for!

Don't we all love venting?

What is the point of having a blog if you can't use it as a public forum to scream and bitch? Today's installment has to do with my Tuesday night advertising class, the bane of my otherwise happy existence. My teacher is a fat, ugly, pompous tool- so much so I find myself doodling cartoon caricatures of him in class- he's lecturing and spitting, his gut hanging way over his pants. Now I realize this guy is some advertising superstar, why else would he be teaching at SVA? But all he's managed to do is make me not want to go into advertising. So our latest assignment was to get paired up at random and do a campaign for "Word Lock"- which is a pretty cool product. I got paired with this girl who actually works at an agency which floors me considering her ideas are crap and she has yet to do the "winning" ad in any of our weekly classes. Well I have had to bend over to accommodate this girl. And for those of you who know me I am not the bend over and do only unto others type. I went to her office to go over the project and in an hour and a half she gave me about 20 minutes- she kept leaving to do her actual agency work. Even though she had assured me it'd be quiet. And then she keeps acting like I should be calling her and keeping up on her- no effort on her part at all. What is this? I mean the teacher HATES me- is this girl stupid? Or maybe smart- if the idea sucks she can say "It's all Halli's" and it the teacher likes it he'll be like "Well clearly Katina is the driving force here".
BULLSHIT!

And now for something completely different

Well it's been a few weeks since I posted anything other then Japantastic facts, a burden to readers like my relatives who could care less if VOLKS is producing dolls and geta shoes require great dexterity. What do they want? Baby photos! And so in the spirit of getting cheap "Aws" and "Oohs" I present Jack and Liam in all their kawaii glory!

The end of Santino

Can you believe it's 1:08pm and it's just now occured to me to post about Project Runway? Well my beloved Dan came in 2nd- probably because he's so young and they figured Chloe with her shop and business sense would know how to handle the $100,000 and Banana Republic Job better. But regardless that evil bastard Santino lost- HAHAHA- and let me tell you I didn't think he was going to lose. I mean the producers had edited the show to highlight Santino, and as I learned from "Apprentice" this usually means the person highlighted is destined to win. I'm not to sad though, Daniel got a job offer from Kors and of course a cute talented gay guy can only do well in a place like NYC.

Long live white day!

Ok, so technically white day a week away, and it's not celebrated in the states, but who cares? I'm having the best white day ever! And I owe it all the Tim-san my English teaching NZ- Japan transplant pen pal. In exchange for some M&M brownies I got a myriad of Hello kitty presents and treats. Not to mention St. Patty's day package wrapping which is decked in shamrocks- is it weird to debate tossing or keeping packaging? One of my favorite bits is an article on Hello Kitty. Here are some cool facts on her majesty Kitty.
-She is named after one of Alice in Wonderland's cats
-She's not Japanese! She was "born" in London in 1974 and her surname is "White"(how perfect for white day?)
-There is a Hello Kitty shrine in Singapore (what do you expect from people who cane you for chewing gum?)
-She apparently weighs "3 apples" and is "five apples" tall
-She is perpetually in 3rd grade
-On the market there are odd Hello Kitty products not limited to: a vibrator, a master card, tarot cards, and a 330-200 Airbus plane

Pop Tart

When I came across this photo this morning I was ::this:: close to making it my desktop wallpaper. It's pop sensation "Lead"!
I don't know where to begin- the blatant tape on the floor to show where the kid's knee was supposed to go? The horrific 1980's flash back style (which you just know is gonna be on the LES in 6 months), or the metrosexualness of it all- are they straight, are they gay? Who cares, they're FABULOUS! I'm not sure when being color blind became a trend- and is there such a thing as pattern blind? Gotta love the US patriotism of the guy on the lower left. Nothing says gajin lover like matching American flag shoes and shirt. Maybe it's more of a political statement- look I'm "treading on you"-haha.
In related news, for those of you who don't get my joke, a study released this week showed the average US citizen knows more about "The Simpsons" then our constitution.

Matisyahu

My friend James, in a move so kawaii it defies description, suprised me with tickets to Matisyahu on Tuesday night. How flippin awesome is that? Super weird crowd- the blacks kept staring at the hasids who kept staring at the reforms, who kept staring at the asians, who were staring at the orthodox, who were staring at the 13 year old goys- but a great show nontheless. James is now, aparently, orthodox, which is suprising if you've seen his tattoos and affinity for shellfish. The tattoos may not be going anywhere, but the cigarettes and seafood are a thing of yesterday. I mean, dude was sporting a KIPPAH. Good gravey! But what are you gonna do? When he starts growing a beard and doning a black wool coat in August I'll worry. Till then he stills rocks, kippah or no. As for the show it was great, Matisyahu has a great voice and it's so sureal to sea a hasid bounce up and down and do beat box. In the encore he brought an old hasid guy out to play guitar and a young hasid kid did a horrah with Matisyahu on stage. Could this be the wave of the future, the next trend, black kids with grills and side curls, girls in belly shirts and titsis? If MTV has their way it will be. And why not? Hasn't fashion gone after every other genre? Native American, Indian (think Madonna), Japanese (again Madonna), african/tribal- and now Hasidic Jew (hmmm Ester AGAIN....) I for one won't be sporting a sheitel (how unkawaii can you get), but I'll show my support because lord knows in this day and age us jews need all the support we can get!

Huzzah!

Well for reasons someone has yet to explain my second hand books from Amazon.com aren't here- but my geta shoes sure are! Two big thumbs up to Karankoren shop . My shoes arrived with the customs straps I picked (the fabric had sparkle in it- who knew?), fit great, and despite traveling continents got here faster then those damn books. My first attempt at walking in them proved a bit tricky- I'm not sure if the front of the geta is supposed to touch the ground when I walk. It will take a while to adjust my gate. Nigel, on the other hand, seemed totally horrified of my new shoes and watched in both awe and fear as I practiced traipsing up and down the carpet like royalty during the cherry blossom festival. If I had a computer I would upload photos of my shoes, but till then I'll keep practicing and waiting for it to get warm out so I can break out my bold fashion statements.

San X Nyanko Cat

This is one of the latest and hottest Sanrio characters- a cat featured as various food items. It's both repulsive and cute- which is hard to do if you're not an Olsen twin. Not suprisingly Nyanko is almost impossible to find in the states, if PETA found out about it there would be toy burnings and protests for sure. I came across some Nyanko cat chicken nugget stuffed animals this weekend. They were hidden at the bottom of a shelf, tucked way in the back, at a Ricky's. I would have bought them for the creep factor AND the cute factor had the mark up not been $40!!! I'm not sure if that's the importers cost, or Ricky's way of punishing the sickos (like me) who would even consider buying something like this. Want to see more cutie-pie gore? Click the links below!

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ebay's dirty little kitty eating secret

Cool Photos

I came accross this site when I wasn't even looking for it (isn't that always the way?) Some truly beautiful Japanese COSPLAY fashion photos- all in Japanese so forgive me if it's actually some kind of weird fetish site- I swear I had no idea.

Arisa Mizuhara Photo Gallery

BFF!

Ok so me and Tracey aren't BFF, but doesn't this photo look like were about to run off and bake cookies and pass notes about boys we think are cute?

Friday at Happy Valley

Here is what happens when your photo gets taken while you dancing- behold the hipster statue of liberty!

How did harajuku turn into this?

If I was still in college or simply had the will power or a purpose- I would put together an essay showing how the innocent harajuku style of FRUiTS fame prompted the hipster style that is now ravaging the USA. I can't playa hate since most hipster girls have fabulous hair and pretty lean cocaine bodies- but I will say this: only American kids could turn cool style into a weird 1980's recap. This picture is a fabulous example of a typical night out on the hipster-town. All the girls are beyond pretty, and with the small number of men available they're left fighting over the ugly douche who has bought into the "American Apparel" trend and grown a 'stache. It's so unoriginal it makes me wonder why American's just can't tap into what make Japanese style so damn cool.

So wrong

This is an old comic I took from Lileks.com because it's so horrible it's awesome. I can't decide what the blond is "gently" persuading the guy to do- not scream whilst he has his way with him? This fellow is clearly in pain at both ends- maybe he's gently trying to persuade the blond to stop raping him because wouldn't the blond get turned off by a corpse? Logic says yes. But this picture suggests otherwise!

Maid CAFES

Geek culture is huge in Akihabara- but is growing all over Japan. One of the resulting phenomina is "Maid Cafes" they range from serving tea to giving foot massages and hair cuts.

This site

is all in Japanese but shows the super kawaii maid / cosplay outfits the servers wear. And here they show a Maid salon. With the exception of having to call customers "master" it could be an OK gig.

aDOLLable

Ok- really, really bad pun. With hours spenting clacking away at the keyboard it's amazing what kind of kawaii stuff you can find. Introducing "Dolfie", a doll which you can either customize or buy already made. This makes me long for the days when I used to get a doll ever birthday, before I got old and getting a doll would of just been creepy.

VOLKS INC

makes these awesome dolls and sells them on the 6th floor of the World of Radio Building Akihabara. For those of us who can't just click our heels and fly first class to Japan you can buy the dolls on the above link- or just click on it if you're bored and want to be a little freaked out (the uber mannish "Tear drop" dolls show why Lady-boys flourish in Asia). I thought "Kaede" (shown here) looked like me- with my new haircut of course. See if you can find one that looks like you!

To puuurfect

I am a cat freak- and as a cat freak even I have to say this ad scares me.

I'm trying I swear

I really do try to keep my blog clean- gutter humor is so trite- but after noticing the yahoo "top emailed photos" of Shizuka Arakawa featured major crotch shots I suddenly started checking in to see what other "top" pictures are being emailed. Low and behold this shot of "Actress and model" Vida Guerra has been in the top since FEBRUARY 22- that's EIGHT DAYS for those of us who suck at math. Frankly I think this shot will make Vida's career- if not the career of her plastic surgeon!

Sanrio here vs THERE

There are few who can argue the antithesis of kawaii is Sanrio and its family of characters with Hello Kitty as the unquestionable queen of the domain. Sadly Americans are assumed to be boring Vanilla types, and when you do find Sanrio products they tend to be either A) all about simple Hello Kitty or B) Booooring. But did you know in Japan they have gone above and beyond the typical sanrio chotchke? For example I'm showing Japanese phone charms featuring a gothic lolita "My Melody", some kawaii "Bonboya-zyu Chibi" (a brand we don't have in the US), and of course some crazy versions of Hello Kitty. The good news is US based stores like "Kid Robot" are carrying more and more of these unusual kawaii items- and don't forget ebay, where you could probably buy someone's mom for $5.60.

Happy March 1rst!

It's March,- 25 days till my birthday, 21 days until my cat's birthday, 13 days until white day, 2 days until hina matsuri (http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2281.html), and only a few hours until the conclusion of my beloved Project Runway! After the upset which left ...Santino.... in the final 3 (can you believe??) I have put all my chips on hunky homo Dan winning it all tonight. Crazy that he's my age and about to walk off with $100,000 and a ton of other cool crap. Someone remind me why I didn't go into fashion again?