And now for something completely different

Well it's been a few weeks since I posted anything other then Japantastic facts, a burden to readers like my relatives who could care less if VOLKS is producing dolls and geta shoes require great dexterity. What do they want? Baby photos! And so in the spirit of getting cheap "Aws" and "Oohs" I present Jack and Liam in all their kawaii glory!

The end of Santino

Can you believe it's 1:08pm and it's just now occured to me to post about Project Runway? Well my beloved Dan came in 2nd- probably because he's so young and they figured Chloe with her shop and business sense would know how to handle the $100,000 and Banana Republic Job better. But regardless that evil bastard Santino lost- HAHAHA- and let me tell you I didn't think he was going to lose. I mean the producers had edited the show to highlight Santino, and as I learned from "Apprentice" this usually means the person highlighted is destined to win. I'm not to sad though, Daniel got a job offer from Kors and of course a cute talented gay guy can only do well in a place like NYC.

Long live white day!

Ok, so technically white day a week away, and it's not celebrated in the states, but who cares? I'm having the best white day ever! And I owe it all the Tim-san my English teaching NZ- Japan transplant pen pal. In exchange for some M&M brownies I got a myriad of Hello kitty presents and treats. Not to mention St. Patty's day package wrapping which is decked in shamrocks- is it weird to debate tossing or keeping packaging? One of my favorite bits is an article on Hello Kitty. Here are some cool facts on her majesty Kitty.
-She is named after one of Alice in Wonderland's cats
-She's not Japanese! She was "born" in London in 1974 and her surname is "White"(how perfect for white day?)
-There is a Hello Kitty shrine in Singapore (what do you expect from people who cane you for chewing gum?)
-She apparently weighs "3 apples" and is "five apples" tall
-She is perpetually in 3rd grade
-On the market there are odd Hello Kitty products not limited to: a vibrator, a master card, tarot cards, and a 330-200 Airbus plane

Pop Tart

When I came across this photo this morning I was ::this:: close to making it my desktop wallpaper. It's pop sensation "Lead"!
I don't know where to begin- the blatant tape on the floor to show where the kid's knee was supposed to go? The horrific 1980's flash back style (which you just know is gonna be on the LES in 6 months), or the metrosexualness of it all- are they straight, are they gay? Who cares, they're FABULOUS! I'm not sure when being color blind became a trend- and is there such a thing as pattern blind? Gotta love the US patriotism of the guy on the lower left. Nothing says gajin lover like matching American flag shoes and shirt. Maybe it's more of a political statement- look I'm "treading on you"-haha.
In related news, for those of you who don't get my joke, a study released this week showed the average US citizen knows more about "The Simpsons" then our constitution.

Matisyahu

My friend James, in a move so kawaii it defies description, suprised me with tickets to Matisyahu on Tuesday night. How flippin awesome is that? Super weird crowd- the blacks kept staring at the hasids who kept staring at the reforms, who kept staring at the asians, who were staring at the orthodox, who were staring at the 13 year old goys- but a great show nontheless. James is now, aparently, orthodox, which is suprising if you've seen his tattoos and affinity for shellfish. The tattoos may not be going anywhere, but the cigarettes and seafood are a thing of yesterday. I mean, dude was sporting a KIPPAH. Good gravey! But what are you gonna do? When he starts growing a beard and doning a black wool coat in August I'll worry. Till then he stills rocks, kippah or no. As for the show it was great, Matisyahu has a great voice and it's so sureal to sea a hasid bounce up and down and do beat box. In the encore he brought an old hasid guy out to play guitar and a young hasid kid did a horrah with Matisyahu on stage. Could this be the wave of the future, the next trend, black kids with grills and side curls, girls in belly shirts and titsis? If MTV has their way it will be. And why not? Hasn't fashion gone after every other genre? Native American, Indian (think Madonna), Japanese (again Madonna), african/tribal- and now Hasidic Jew (hmmm Ester AGAIN....) I for one won't be sporting a sheitel (how unkawaii can you get), but I'll show my support because lord knows in this day and age us jews need all the support we can get!

Huzzah!

Well for reasons someone has yet to explain my second hand books from Amazon.com aren't here- but my geta shoes sure are! Two big thumbs up to Karankoren shop . My shoes arrived with the customs straps I picked (the fabric had sparkle in it- who knew?), fit great, and despite traveling continents got here faster then those damn books. My first attempt at walking in them proved a bit tricky- I'm not sure if the front of the geta is supposed to touch the ground when I walk. It will take a while to adjust my gate. Nigel, on the other hand, seemed totally horrified of my new shoes and watched in both awe and fear as I practiced traipsing up and down the carpet like royalty during the cherry blossom festival. If I had a computer I would upload photos of my shoes, but till then I'll keep practicing and waiting for it to get warm out so I can break out my bold fashion statements.

San X Nyanko Cat

This is one of the latest and hottest Sanrio characters- a cat featured as various food items. It's both repulsive and cute- which is hard to do if you're not an Olsen twin. Not suprisingly Nyanko is almost impossible to find in the states, if PETA found out about it there would be toy burnings and protests for sure. I came across some Nyanko cat chicken nugget stuffed animals this weekend. They were hidden at the bottom of a shelf, tucked way in the back, at a Ricky's. I would have bought them for the creep factor AND the cute factor had the mark up not been $40!!! I'm not sure if that's the importers cost, or Ricky's way of punishing the sickos (like me) who would even consider buying something like this. Want to see more cutie-pie gore? Click the links below!

scroll down

ebay's dirty little kitty eating secret

Cool Photos

I came accross this site when I wasn't even looking for it (isn't that always the way?) Some truly beautiful Japanese COSPLAY fashion photos- all in Japanese so forgive me if it's actually some kind of weird fetish site- I swear I had no idea.

Arisa Mizuhara Photo Gallery

BFF!

Ok so me and Tracey aren't BFF, but doesn't this photo look like were about to run off and bake cookies and pass notes about boys we think are cute?

Friday at Happy Valley

Here is what happens when your photo gets taken while you dancing- behold the hipster statue of liberty!

How did harajuku turn into this?

If I was still in college or simply had the will power or a purpose- I would put together an essay showing how the innocent harajuku style of FRUiTS fame prompted the hipster style that is now ravaging the USA. I can't playa hate since most hipster girls have fabulous hair and pretty lean cocaine bodies- but I will say this: only American kids could turn cool style into a weird 1980's recap. This picture is a fabulous example of a typical night out on the hipster-town. All the girls are beyond pretty, and with the small number of men available they're left fighting over the ugly douche who has bought into the "American Apparel" trend and grown a 'stache. It's so unoriginal it makes me wonder why American's just can't tap into what make Japanese style so damn cool.

So wrong

This is an old comic I took from Lileks.com because it's so horrible it's awesome. I can't decide what the blond is "gently" persuading the guy to do- not scream whilst he has his way with him? This fellow is clearly in pain at both ends- maybe he's gently trying to persuade the blond to stop raping him because wouldn't the blond get turned off by a corpse? Logic says yes. But this picture suggests otherwise!

Maid CAFES

Geek culture is huge in Akihabara- but is growing all over Japan. One of the resulting phenomina is "Maid Cafes" they range from serving tea to giving foot massages and hair cuts.

This site

is all in Japanese but shows the super kawaii maid / cosplay outfits the servers wear. And here they show a Maid salon. With the exception of having to call customers "master" it could be an OK gig.

aDOLLable

Ok- really, really bad pun. With hours spenting clacking away at the keyboard it's amazing what kind of kawaii stuff you can find. Introducing "Dolfie", a doll which you can either customize or buy already made. This makes me long for the days when I used to get a doll ever birthday, before I got old and getting a doll would of just been creepy.

VOLKS INC

makes these awesome dolls and sells them on the 6th floor of the World of Radio Building Akihabara. For those of us who can't just click our heels and fly first class to Japan you can buy the dolls on the above link- or just click on it if you're bored and want to be a little freaked out (the uber mannish "Tear drop" dolls show why Lady-boys flourish in Asia). I thought "Kaede" (shown here) looked like me- with my new haircut of course. See if you can find one that looks like you!

To puuurfect

I am a cat freak- and as a cat freak even I have to say this ad scares me.

I'm trying I swear

I really do try to keep my blog clean- gutter humor is so trite- but after noticing the yahoo "top emailed photos" of Shizuka Arakawa featured major crotch shots I suddenly started checking in to see what other "top" pictures are being emailed. Low and behold this shot of "Actress and model" Vida Guerra has been in the top since FEBRUARY 22- that's EIGHT DAYS for those of us who suck at math. Frankly I think this shot will make Vida's career- if not the career of her plastic surgeon!

Sanrio here vs THERE

There are few who can argue the antithesis of kawaii is Sanrio and its family of characters with Hello Kitty as the unquestionable queen of the domain. Sadly Americans are assumed to be boring Vanilla types, and when you do find Sanrio products they tend to be either A) all about simple Hello Kitty or B) Booooring. But did you know in Japan they have gone above and beyond the typical sanrio chotchke? For example I'm showing Japanese phone charms featuring a gothic lolita "My Melody", some kawaii "Bonboya-zyu Chibi" (a brand we don't have in the US), and of course some crazy versions of Hello Kitty. The good news is US based stores like "Kid Robot" are carrying more and more of these unusual kawaii items- and don't forget ebay, where you could probably buy someone's mom for $5.60.

Happy March 1rst!

It's March,- 25 days till my birthday, 21 days until my cat's birthday, 13 days until white day, 2 days until hina matsuri (http://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2281.html), and only a few hours until the conclusion of my beloved Project Runway! After the upset which left ...Santino.... in the final 3 (can you believe??) I have put all my chips on hunky homo Dan winning it all tonight. Crazy that he's my age and about to walk off with $100,000 and a ton of other cool crap. Someone remind me why I didn't go into fashion again?

Guess what's coming up?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY~MARCH 26,2006-Save the date! I am sending out invites today in the mail- so RSVP and be sure to be there when I turn ....24....!!

Gotta getta Geta

Well after doing extensive research I purchased a pair of Japanese Geta shoes from an online boutique based out of Japan. I think I had to have them for a number of reasons 1) they looked so kawaii in "Samerai Champloo" 2) As a NY fashionista I like to stay ahead of the curve 3) I'm just nuts like that. I don't intend wear them with kimono and obi- I'm just a white gajin after all- it would probably look like someone in black face walking through Harlem- but I will wear them with skirts and jeans once it gets warmer.

Classic

AAaaaiiiight?

Hooboy did I call it

Proof is in the pudding! Here are the two MOST emailed photo on yahoo.com, and a sign that pervs love ice skating.

Now that's cute

Photographic proof that my father makes badass baby faces.

Laugh until you pee

Ever been tickle tortured? It's when someone mercilessly tickles you until you scream in horror and delight. Well http://www.lileks.com/ is the same thing. Whenever I read this I laugh until the folks in my office call security and bring out the tranc guns. Go on- click on the link- you know you want to!

Butterflies of the Night

Well I finally finished my book- and as promised here are my thoughts. Lisa Louis promises a book with torrid tales, but all you get is OK stories (usually brief) and badly re-written interviews that basically repeat the same info over and over. It reads like a college essay and the only sexy things she writes about are the pink-salons. A great read if you want information on hostessing in japan or the mizu shobai industry, but otherwise nothing for the ages.

Pink+ Hello Kitty= AWESOME

There are very few things that can make a day rock harder then when you get a crazy cool gift in the mail. Especially when the gift involves your favorite country, color and super kawaii icon (yes I know I shouldn't still like Hello Kitty). My pink Hello Kitty shmogasport includes actual gem stickers, chopsticks with holding case, soap dish,pencils, and a face towel (just in time to wipe the drool off my face). Ironically it matches my outfit today (pink headband, shirt and sweater) so I had to wrap them up before my co-workers saw them and decided to institutionalize me. Some cool facts about Hello Kitty (courtesy of Tim)- her blood type is A negative, and she is a good will Ambassador for UNICEF. I guess your blood type is an important thing to know when your visiting countries where you're likely to get shot at! Be sure to visit Tim's blog- just scroll to my links and click on Japan blog. And in case you're wondering what I do with all the stickers I have started covering a lampshade!

Skatetastic

It occured to me while browsing online photos of last nights top ice skaters (people who had chance to medal) that the media are a bunch of perves who love waxed beaver. The only medalist who avoided getting an crotch shot online is Irina Slutskaya. OK- well technically there is a muff shot of her falling but even I'm not mean enough to post that. Pay special attention to the pained look on Sasha's face- she looks so violated, as if to say "Here you bastards, this is what you want, isn't it?!"

Creepy

Am I the only one who thinks A) the person who took this picture is a perve B) the person who approved the picture to go up on Yahoo.com is a perve and C) Koodoos to her waxer!!

Bitter Sweet

I feel very conflicted about last nights skating upset by Shizuka Arakawa of Japan. On one hand I can't deny the girl was good- graceful, clean jumps, and a cute costume (which made up for her short program outfit). But despite this I was secretly hoping either Sasha or Irina Slutskaya would take home the gold. Why? Well jews simply don't wish other jews to fail- especially since Sasha'a ancestors were the high priests of Israel. And who's heart didn't ache watching Irina give it her all for her sick mother?

When it rains it pours

Well I thought today might go well- but it seems like bad news is just leaking from the walls. First off I didn't get the Judge Hatchett show- so now I'm shit out of luck once this temp gig ends. Secondly Kris lost the three men immediatly under him last night because of an IED. Third Bush is a wack job who is going to hand our ports over to people who want nothing more then to blow us up. And lastly- when I wrote to some politicians to complain AOL promptly shut down my account and I had to call them to reinstate it (thank you Joyce who sounded like she must surely be in New Delhi). All I want to do is hide under the covers with my cat, a bag of chocolate covered pretzels, and all the lights out!

Guess who has a scanner?

WHAT the fuck???!!

Some how my beautiful Kawaii NY is a messed up piled of yuck- a computer glitch has totally ruined it. While I attempt to fix it- stay tuned

In other news the sky is blue

Well DUH
-Obese boys, girls more likely to be bullied
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060217/hl_nm/obese_bullied_dc;_ylt=AtayrnaGE8yyMukEL.mO8emISbYF;_ylu=X3oDMTBjMHVqMTQ4BHNlYwN5bnN1YmNhdA--

Auntie Halli

Another pic of the proud Auntie and Liam

Jack and Liam

Don't you just want to eat Jack's cheeks? And other then being adorable, Liam looks like my dad in this photo!

OY!

Somewhere between baking, sewing, and shopping- this was one very girly weekend. I tried a brownie recipe for my friend Kris in Iraq, if it gets to him without melting everywhere or exploding in fungus then I will send another batch out to my Japanese pen pall Tim on March 14th for "White Day". As for sewing, well the quilt from hell just keeps getting more and more complicated. It looks fabulous- but that still doesn't keep me from hating every inch of thread I've yet to hand sew to finish the fucker. As for shopping- well between groceries, medicine, and of course clothing- I feel like I spent my load for a while. Anyhoo- above is a picture of my beloved nephew Liam. Lucky for him I wasn't working when his quilt was in the works. Soon to come- an awesome pic of Liam and Jack!

Geisha madness

In my never ending quest to know everything I possible can about geisha and the fabulous nightlife of Japan, I have started to read yet another book (thanks for the recommendation ImmortalGeisha.com). Butterflies of the night is a good read if you've ever considered joining the "glamorous" hostess nightlife- which turns out not to be so glamorous, but still a heck of fun if you don't mind your boobs being grabbed from time to time. I'll be sure to post a full update when I've finished the book.

So fuckin Kawaii

Pardon my french, but I just received a badass package courtesy of Tim (http://www.porcelain-monkey.blogspot.com/). Not only did I get some beautiful chocolates, but some awesome cartoon stickers, which as we all know is the way to a japan-loving-woman's heart. Talk about making my day!

giri-choco for everyone!

If you're a japan buff like myself, then you know about giri-choco ("obligation chocolates") that women give men February 14th. On white day, a month later, men are suposed to recipricate. The result? Both sexes hate giri-choco and white day- shocking. Want more info? http://www.crisscross.com/jp/popvox/549 has a delightful article on how Japanese youth spent yesterday and plan to spend white day. As for myself, my odd ball plea for a Valentine gift in exchange for cookies worked perfectly! Not only did some kind soul reach out, but he's from Japan and a native New Zealander- rock on! I'll let you know when my reverse giri-choco arrives. In the mean time his cookies are in transit to Japan.
Oh and I would be amiss if I failed to note the super kawaii gift my mom got for Valentines day. Any necklace that involves pearls and diamonds is always a solid bet on V-day!

All Cupcakes, All The Time

All Cupcakes, All The Time

Trinity's Home

Trinity's Home

Mother Fuckin Manolos!!!!!

Ok, so my life is pretty much eye to eye craptacular- I've got my hands in ten pies all at once, not to mention my spleen, feet, and lower intestine.

It's a very messy time to be me.

It's times like this that only shopping for something fabulous can make everything right. Enter my mother- a woman who has never let her daughter wear last seasons clothes. EVER. So what if it's snowing, our futures are uncertain, and the cat just yuked up on the rug? Bergdorfs is open!

In a thinly veiled excuse to leave the house and go to Bergdorf (those people need a gift, and only a fancy candle will do) my mom and I managed to do some serious non gift related damage. First she got a new bag, tres hot- black with white trim and covered in flower fabric and clear sequins. It may sound uncool- but trust me when I say it is tres kawaii. And then, the cherry on top- my mom went halfsies with me on a pair of black patent mary jane manolos (seen above)- brand new- all for me! She of course, decided to get herself a matching pair, no one to go halfsies with, but hey, you only live once.

How flippin Kawaii is that?

Bad Day.

I am normally an unconfrontational person- but not today. Call it stress. Lots of stress. My skin is freaking out, my lack of advetising skill is rampent, my hormones are building up, and I'm not even going to talk about what's really bad. I spent a snowy weekend sewing Jack's quilt (which is not close to being finished, please stop asking, if you'd ever hand sewn a quilt you would know it takes time- especially since I'm working now and don't have 24 free hours to devote to sewing). Basically I'm in an overall bad mood and the slightest BS can, and will set me off.
Beware.

Ralph Lauren, Ralph Lauren, Ralph Lauren

My bad- project runway wasn't yesterday, it's today! What's kind of sad is it took me a good few minutes to realize Ralph Lauren didn't really have 3 small shows in a row (not a website error) but rather that "Ralph Lauren" was code for the top three finalist in project runway. Although it does make me wonder if Ralph Lauren is the final celebrity judge- seems kind of blatent eh?

Wunderkind

According to Wunderking fall 2006 looks like 1940 in Berlin- homeless, aryan and starving. It's sh'tettle chic!

Project Runway

I am addicted to Project Runway- this cheesey Bravo show has me glued to my seat every Wednesday night. Which is why it's such torture to know that at 9am this morning the finalists had their showings at Olympus fashion week and I A) wasn't there and B) don't know who they are (Please go let it not be Santino that no talent hack). But in the project runway spirit I would like to give my Koodos to Mr. Kors who has not only put up with Santino's crap, but produced a most excellent fall 2006 collection! Very preppy chic- makes me wish I could go back to prep school and wear Kors.

Happy Hallmark Created Holiday!

I have no idea why I like Valentines day. It's not like I have a boyfriend. I think it has to do with the girliness of it. Pink, flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals- big thumbs up in my book. But alas, it's just not the same when I'm the one buying myself fluffy red crap- so I'm willing to strike a deal. A "secret santa" type operation. I'll bake you cookies in exchange for flowers, chocolates, even a stuffed animal. Interested? E-mail me

Luca Luca

Booooooring. Didn't really have a common theme. I liked the final gown but otherwise the most interesting thing at the show was Jessica Simpsons boobs.

Bill Blass

The ideal woman for fall 2006, according to Bill Blass, is wearing either black, green, or red, is perpetually sleeveless, always wearing a belt as big as her entire abdomen, and just got back from a trip to India.

Monique Lhuillier

Well I can't pronounce it, but I'll bet my lunch money you'll see celebs in these gowns come the fall awards season. Again- empire waistlines, off the shoulder, all black and purple with a few embellishments- but definitely no "fat day" dresses. The skinnier, the better you'll look. One theme this collection has is a ton of ruching in the skirts of the gowns. The poofier, and more cinched in, the better.

TIBI

Since I'm watching the shows it seems only natural to report on them (tres kawaii). TIBI, a brand I have never heard of, showed first today. Again- a lot of purples, empire waistlines, and huge "fat day" coats and dresses. HOWEVER I have to say I would have worn 95% of what I saw in the collection, including the most fabulous simple dresses with low V necks in bright red and green. And the empire waist gowns were done very well, with a corsetted top, off the shoulder. There were patterns on some pieces- think Missoni meets paisley- but all done tastefully. Such a good collection in fact that after I write this I am googling TIBI and finding out where it's sold! My only complaints? The collection used this awful mustard color on a few pieces and also had coats that looked like that were made for pregnancy (not to mention they had poorly designed fur chunks on them).

How long do you have to live?

If any of you are web heads you may have been to deathclock.com- but here comes an actual death calculator that promised to be accurate. Judging by this baby I'm gonna live to 93, so here's hoping it'll be even longer. Curious? You know you are.


http://www.demko.com/deathcalculator.htm

My bad

I have been neglecting Kawaii for my craigslist blog, mainly because CL is constantly updated with topics stupider and raunchier then ever, while my life tends to go in fluxes not nearly as interesting as Craigslist. But I would be an awful fashionista, and lover of all things kawaii, if I failed to point out this is fashion week! All the more poignant now that I work a block away and get to pass models ten years younger, way taller and cuter then I ever was, every time I walk outside. I have had a front row viewing of everything from Oscar de La Renta to Carolina Herrera. How? IMG's new website(http://www.imgfashionworld.com/tracker/default.asp) that shows in real time the fashion shows as they happen. I am tres tres impressed- not even Anna Wintour's curt bob gets as close to these models as the cameras do. Some things I am noticing for fall 2006- very boxy looking clothes (look for stiff shapes very 1920's reminiscent), black and purple, embellishment, and empire waistlines the likes of which we haven't seen since 1855. Reem Acra's collection was pretty typical- so if you manage to catch some clips of her show you've basically seen what all the other collections look like. A word on Reem's show- she must have either been overweight or feeling kinda bloated while designing this collection because most of the piece look like something I'd wear on a "fat day". But why put mumu sized pieces on models? Like my mom always says- if it doesn't look good on the model it's going to look like hell on you! You want to promote comfy pretty clothes? Stick them on a big girl and show how skinny you can make her look!

warts and all

I have a nasty, disgusting wart on the ring finger of my right hand. It has been years since I had a wart, but when I did it was also on my right hand. Sounds vaguely conspiracy-ish if you ask me. Because it is on the tip of my finger, where all the nerve endings are, it hurts and I am constantly reminded it is there. When I went to my dermatologist last week it was so small I even questioned if it was in fact a wart. But after she got me not once, but twice with the nitrus oxide (whatever that stuff is that looks like dry ice), she wrote me a prescription for the acid I had applied all those years ago to my first wart. So now I get to apply this acid to my finger- it smells awful, sticks to my flesh like crazy glue, and hurts if it's doing the job. A side affect is that my skin becomes one big scabby callus, which has to be pulled off to get to the infected skin. Hurrah! For your viewing pleasure I found a picture of a wart on the net- doesn't it look like the nipple from hell?