CATwaii

Here are Mixed Cats! " ...created in November, 1992 originally for stationary items" I love them- they combine everything fluffy with sanrio- like crack for the cute addict! Meanwhile my brother David is in Japan as I post!!! I'm and tres jealous and know he and his wife sophia are having a great time!

One in a million

Well I just got back from Greece. Amazing- exhausting- would do it again without my mom in tow- but still great. Out of the 300000000000 pics taken here are two I think make me look cute. Just in case you need a recent Halli pic fix!

One in a million

Well I just got back from Greece. Amazing- exhausting- would do it again without my mom in tow- but still great. Out of the 300000000000 pics taken here are two I think make me look cute. Just in case you need a recent Halli pic fix!

So much to do- so little time

I'm 48 hours from flying to Greece for a solid two weeks with my Mom. A trip I hope goes amazing vs leading to matricide. Everything seems to be speeding up which is bad when life was already zooming by way to fast. Suddenly I've been with Peter 3 months, I've had 100 more pointless interviews, and the leaves on the trees are turning brown. Worst of all I'm rapidly plummiting toward 25 and still don't know what I want to do with my life! How totally un kawaii. I'm hoping this trip may give me a kind of spiritual cleansing- some kind of direction in my life. gtg- talk soon

I wanna go fast

Ricky Bobby touched me in a way none of there heavy endorsment products ever imagined. Maybe it was the great editing, sound design, direction and writing- or maybe it was because it spoke to me during a very dark time. Trying to figure out what to do with my life has been a challenge that has eaten my self esteem and turned me pretty darn un-kawaii. I can relate to Ricky's desire to please everyone and be #1; not to mention how he looses his confidence and ends up delivering pizzas. But enevitably Ricky learns he just wants to be happy and success finds him yet again. Moral: do what you love because you love it and happiness will follow. And so in an effort to "go fast" I'm trying to find my confidence again. To stop seeing closed doors. If I've learned anything it's that you make your own luck, so maybe I can do that. And of course, only be able to count to #1.

103 degrees outside

Still not knowing what direction to turn to; I went to apply at a temp agency yesterday. Which was humiliating (how did I make it through a $300,000 education and not know excell?) and gratifying (maybe someone might higher me as a temp if all the other temp's unexpectedly drop dead). I then went out to Flushing to drown my misery in Peter's excellent fajitas, a viewing of "Unfaithful" (because nothing says warm fuzzies like a cuckolded Richard Gere), and then right back in NYC to cry my eyes out to my shrink (I can't even qualify as a motherfuckingtemp?!)
Well today I was going to go back to Flushing but God turned off th 1/2/3 subway and so here I am at home, sitting on my bed with Nigel. I'll get up in a bit- that Ambien perscription won't fill itself-

What am I overqualified for? Coffee running?

Apparently 2nd round interviews aren't just for qualified people anymore. There for toying with the emotions and minds of overqualified people. After being let down by the job market yet AGAIN I trotted out to Flushing to see my boyfriend Peter. He then did the most romantic thing any man has ever done for me- handed me his credit card and told me to buy myself something at Old Navy to cheer myself up.
It gets better.
When I got back he'd whipped up a pizza from scratch.
God has one wack sense of humor- no job but a great man!

Updating is so kawaii

The word abandon is so ugly. It conjures up the image of something rusting or dilapidating- and really who wants to picture a caved in blog? I've been so busy the past few weeks doing what, in retrospect, seems like nothing at all. Been on some commercials which remind me why I hate PAing, seeing my family, spending time in the Hamptons, painting, reading, and seeing my boyfriend . At this one particular second I am on my bed with my dying AC on full blast, my cat curled up next to me, and the TV tuned into QVC (Joan Rivers is SOOO kawaii!). I have a secret love of the home shopping networks. The hosts are always so chipper and creepy- and there is nothing more macabre then watching fallen celebs peddle their wears. I have yet to buy anything, I like it more for the rubber necking/car wreck feeling I get. Joan River's is one of my favorites. She's this bawdy old lady, beautifully done up- I always fantasized about walking the red carpet and when she came up to me I'd be wearing her QVC jewelry and so she couldn't diss my outfit! I have of course been doing stuff other then watching QVC- like interviewing. I thought I could taste this job at MTV I interviewed for a few weeks ago. I wanted it SO BAD! But alas! Thanks to monster.com I'm interviewing to be a secretary at an advertising agency (random I know), but I rather be doing that then driving a van and getting screamed at like a 4 year old at two am. Ah well, back to Joan!

Well it's official, I'm a jerk

Tim came and left NYC without me seeing him- and I blame it 100% on the Swedish. I spend the past week doing 20 hour night shoots surrounded by beautiful Swedish models. By the time I got home all I did was sleep only to wake up five minutes later and go back to the Swedes. It was during this unreal moment in Halli-history that Tim visited NYC, and instead of being able to show him around like a mensche I couldn't even get to a computer to email. Well it also helped that there were no computers around, but still. And then, in an act of utmost chivalry the mook sent me FLOWERS. NICE FLOWERS, wow do I feel like one hell of a shmuck. Tim, I apologize for how unkawaii everything turned out- Gomennasi.

I got to thinking about cake

And men.... long story... and ended up googling grooms cake. NOT because I want to get married, just because I'd heard that grooms cakes were a Southern tradition shrouded in hillbilly goodness. YOU decide.

Presents, presents, everywhere

It's a dirty trick to start dating someone right in time for their birthday to hit. Just the kind of dirty pool I would try and use. But alas, in this case the opposite is true and Peter's birthday is fast approaching. Not only is it hard to figure out what to get someone you've only known a few weeks- but then how much to spend, how nice a present? And of course I had to pick a guy who's interests are about as common as my Japan obsession: stamps, butterflies, Marilyn Monroe, French bulldogs, firefighting, boxing..... I tried plugging combinations for the above into google AND eBay, you'd be surprised how few hits I got. The dog is Peter's pet, named Cigan (Seeee-gON), dressed to kill for fleet week. Hopefully Peter's other interests are not Judy Garland and Ms. Streisand.

Muffin Top

I spent 18 hours working this past Wednesday- and in the course of those 18 hours I managed to eat the equivalent of one cake. It was our production coordinator's birthday and one cupcake lead to another, lead to a slice of cake and 18 sugar crazed hours later I realized I'd hit rock bottom. True, I like to think I follow Mae West in believing "to much of a good thing is fabulous" (or never enough), but until I develop the metabolism of a Swedish super model I'm going to have to cut some corners. And so, much to my horror, I decided to go back on Weight Watchers. Not sure if I'll actually go to the meetings- but I have all the books and know the rules so I guess I'm back on WW in the mental sense vs. The "here's my $16, now weigh me in front of everybody" sense. Because he knows what to say the fellow I'm dating was quick to point out I didn't need to loose weight (bonus points Peter), but it's not really for anyone but me. I want to be able to fit into even my fat pants without a muffin top of fat pouring out- and hopefully going back on WW will lead to it.

HOLY CRAP I MADE THE MAIN PAGE OF GAWKER.COM!

That's right folks- go to the site whilst you still can and behold the stalkery goodness that is me! Let it be known I'm the one who didn't jump John Stewart!

Main Page

Gawker Map with my stalking

The Royal Taster

Requests for this gig keep getting weirder- today I was sent out for: a compass (at first we thought the kind of compass you draw circles with and then learned he meant the kind you use when you're lost in the woods), a stop watch, and of course a Quiznos Tropical ice tea. Our producer is obsessed with Quiznos iced tea- the tropical kind- and needs a daily fix like some people need a hit of crank. For those of you who know Quiznos, it's about three rungs down the ladder from Subway and their ice tea reflects this. When I was riddled with cancer and had to have catscans they would make me drink this nuclear white drink that was supposed to taste like creamsicle barf.
It tasted better then a tropical Quiznos ice tea.
Now I wouldn't have much to say on the topic of fetching ice tea if it didn't involve me tasting it each time. Hell I get coffee and tea all day long for everyone who asks. It's the whole tasting it thing that's starting to wear on me. See the class-act people over at Quiznos almost always mislabel the ice tea containers. This means that while the machine may SAY tropical it could really be regular. God forbid it's regular. So the only way to keep this from occuring is for me to actually pour a little into the cup and taste it. By producer's request I do this. Ah, the glamourous life of a PA!

Elizabethan Chic

Kawaii doesn't necessarily have to be sugar coated cute. In my world it means fashionable- uncontrollably cool and unique- and who was more this than Queen Elizabeth i? I have been reading her autobiography as well as "Sex with the Queen" (a book about the sometimes miserable lives of queens) and as a result have gone head first into an Elizabethan frenzy. Since I already own like 10 corsets and can't really get away with huge sweeping skirts, bustles, and crowns, why not try for Elizabethan jewelry? However, since the 1500's isn't the century du jour, I've had to poke around the internet quite a bit to find Elizabethan style gems- and most of the time they look cheap and cost a small fortune. But then today, as I assisted the stylist with her jewelry trove for the actresses I came across the most obscenely stunning and perfect mix of Elizabethan meets 2006 necklace! Just look at this stuff! Sea worthy nautical, Gothtastic skulls and fleur-de-le, and of course, badass kawaii Elizabethan chains and pearls that the old girl herself would of surely approved!

The top 10 foods I would most like to be buried alive in:

1. Chocolate covered strawberries
2. Rice krispy treats
3. Chicken fried rice
4. Powdered fried dough / Beignets
5. Pralines
6. Kraft Mac and Cheese
7. Corn Bread
8. Champagne truffles
9. Cream cheese
10. Junior's Cheese Cake

Yaaaawn

Being bored is sooo unkawaii. Especially when your roots are bad, you're feeling fat, and it's raining outside. But on the plus side I was the only one who had the foresight to buy a cup-o-noodle and not be starving at 6:30pm whilst the gaggle of 20 year old anorexics argue over which 18 year old anorexic should play the lead actress in their commercial. Boooooring!

A key to the city

A good PA will do anything. ANYTHING. Usually this means the very mundane- coffee, dry cleaning, pick ups at drug dealers. But today a producer hit me with a new request: get him a New York City key. His five year old daughter had lost a key she'd gotten as a souvenir when she'd come to NYC. All he could tell me was it looked like an old fashioned key, said "New York" and she'd gotten it at the Empire State building. Of course this comes second hand information- and from a five year old no less. Well I searched every crap I love NY shop on 34th street from the Garden to the Empire state building- I did everything but go up to the observatory- and the only thing I found even in a key SHAPE was a key chain. Luckily the producer liked it because it would've sucked to have to go into every crap shop in times square and keep looking!

Kawaii jewelry for the senses

Don't even try to lie and make like you never wanted to wear a big hunk of smelly pie around your neck since it's already decorating your thighs! Pancake Meow (gotta love the bad English) is selling realistic dessert jewelry that smells like the cake, cookies, and PB&J it resembles. Make your 8 year old niece burn with envy. Or just blame it on Harajuku and use them to pick up guys in bars- "hey want to smell the banana split pinned to my pocket? No, really."

pancake meow

Kawaii Plush

There is something very wrong with being over 12 years of age and loving cutie pie plush dolls. Unless your Japanese (or a Japanophile)- then it's perfectly acceptable (or at least less freaky to adore anything that's stuffed, colorful, and has huge eyes. I came accross Heidi Kenny's site today- Heidi is an artist who's medium is kawaii plush and they are so cute and pathetic it will just make you puke rainbows! ENJOY!

My Paper Crane

Double, double toil and trouble

They say bad things come in threes. As of today my three best female girlfriends are moving out of Manhattan- the city that apparently has no jobs for anyone in any capacity. Which is just so encouraging- let me tell you! I am beyond depressed... How come whenever I make good female friends they move away??!!

Crazy or awesome?

It's been a while since I've regaled you with something kawaii- but whilst searching the net today I came across a Hello Kitty Wedding dress!!!! I know it's awful I don't hate it... But if it's any consolation I probably wouldn't wear it!

A day that will live in infa-pee

A lot can happen in 24 hours. Take, for example, the movie job falling through. With my next three weeks suddenly left wide open I decided to plunge forth and pursue volunteering at Mt. Sinai by getting a urine test. Sounds simple enough no? Wrong, WRONG,WRONG. I showed up at Quest diagnostic center about 12:30. I didn't have to go in the worst way but enough came out- or so I thought. The gaggle of black and latina nurses promptly told me not only was it not enough, but that I was only allowed to pee three times, not allowed to leave the premises between bathroom trips or it would be void, and that I had to supply like a pint of pee. So I drank from the water cooler like I'd been in the desert ten weeks. After reading an old issue of Newsweek I thought "Yes finally I can pee". I pictured water falls and lakes- but still- the nurse took sick delight in informing me- not enough. It was now past 2 o'clock and all I could do was drink and play Tetris on my cell phone. I began to wonder if they'd ever taken such an interest in someone's pee before. With each session on the john they clearly came to believe I was some kind of crazed drug user trying to trick the pee test by underperforming. I almost made myself sick drinking do much water. Visions of that boy who died in a "hazing" accident when he got water poisoning from drinking to much flashed before me. FINALLY I felt like this was it. The nurses, shocked I was still there since clearly I was an insane druggie, had to inspect the bathroom before I went in this time. Not to mention telling me not to wash my hands or flush the toilet. Then they put a tablet in the toilet- clearly some kind of "this girl is a drug addicted liar" device that fizzed and turned the water blue. It all came out in a torrential down pour. The cup wasn't even enough to hold it. But this time when I presented them with my pee a new problem had arisen. The nurse had failed to mention that while drinking water would make me pee, it also diluted it, and therefore could make it totally worthless and I'd have to come in AGAIN. It was surreal having a group of people so interested in my urine- I don't know if I ever would put so much time and effort into someone else's sample. I also felt incredibly guilty because they kept giving me looks of "tsk tsk, lousy druggie". I kept trying to assure them I was a good person with honorable intentions, but they just looked at me like "yea, I heard THAT one before." By 3pm I left the clinic thoroughly dejected- I had no idea peeing could be this traumatic!

Yeah Yeah Yeahs!

Life is very random. One minute you're hiding in the Hamptons afraid of life and the next you're working 1rst team on the new Parker Posey movie and going to a Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert with some random fellow of Craigslist. The concert was Badass mainly because we waited like 3 flippin hours in the same choice spot. Once the show started people even offered me money but my starting price- $50- was not reached and I kept the spot. Karen O is a great performer, she came out in like a 1980's meets 1940's bathing suit with ripping stockings and her right hand encrusted with rhinestones. She played "maps" and a bunch of her other greatest. As for the job, well I'm on it for the next 3 weeks. It's so random! But whatever, while I'm waiting for something else this is pretty good.

I make Gawker Stalker yet again!

Scroll down and be sure to read MY Gawker Stalker sighting of Chris Klien and Kevin Bacon. My favorite part is now all NY knows Kevin's nephew is a tool!!!

HALIUJAH!

Taaaaadaaaaa- Jack's quilt!

I support South Park!

I know this is just a blog, and I'm not sure enough people will ever read this to make it count- but I support free speech, and I support South Park!!! I want to see the show next week!!

Picture time!

Yea, its been REALLY long since I had a computer. But my awesome Dad gave me a new laptop and now I can post pictures. Like these two of me and Rachael from Christmas. Yea, like I said, I know it's been a while. Just deal and enjoy the purdy pictures.

Quiltastic!

Some how, despite months of utter horror, it looks like my nephew Jack's quilt is finally 75% way done. I know- I'm shocked too. I have a hard time comprehending that the quilt will ever be finished- like Sisyphus I figured I'd be sewing forever, always getting no where. Meanwhile Jack keeps getting older, as babies are prone to do, and all I want it to have this done before he becomes cognizant and resentful. "There's Auntie Halli....the bitch". Now there's a phrase I'd love to avoid! Next thing you know I'll have a cigarette in one hand, a highball in the other, and all I'll be able to do is drunkenly slur the quilt will surely be ready by his 45th birthday. Hoo boy- I am NOT gonna be the uncle Lloyd of this generation of Gombergs if I can help it.

Animated cuties

Send some love!

Liam

Jack

Who likes Lileks?

If you've been reading Kawaii NYC lately (and apparently some of you actually do), you will have noticed my unflinching devotion to Lileks.com. This image comes from said site- all be it I have edited it down to the part of the picture that REALLY grabbed my attention. At first you can't help but notice how ungodly hairy this man is, not to mention a face only a mother could love. Is that a sweater under his...wait a minute! WHAT is he wearing? Matching low cut body suits with BOWS, BELLBOTTOMS, and thong high heels? No wonder they made him look so macho- any other fellow in the same outfit and you'd question if you were looking at a man at all! I'm surprised they didn't give him a handle bar mustache and a sign that says "Really, I'm not gay". I wonder how many of these actually sold?

So true

Next I'll be relating to DILBERT

NINJA

Many thanks to my good friends and siblings who joined me last night to celebrate my birthday. I had such a perfect time and it meant so much you could all be there! For those of you who missed me after 2 sakes and 2 lychee bellinis- I started with salmon, had luscious steak in teriaki as a main, and cheesecake shaped like a frog for dessert. The magician was also pretty good- the only thing that could of made the dinner better was if Ninjas descended from the ceiling with our food in their hands. True, turning 24 isn't easy, but with friends and family like I have it was a pleasure!

Happy Birthday to Nigel

9 years ago today my fluffy-wuffy-shnookie-buns came into this world with the goal of fitting into every box he saw and rolling on his back to look adorable. After a rousing "Happy birthday" chorus from me and my mom I gave Nigel some treats. By the time I left for work he had the most confused look on his face. I guess over zealous pampering followed by abandonment can be a little disconcerting. Speaking of zealous pampering- three cheers for my Dad who took me and my family out to the 4 seasons last night to celebrate how 24 years ago today my mom was only 96 hours away from giving birth to his only daughter. I had poached pears with prosciutto, bison with foi gras, and strawberry shortcake. Not to mention the now infamous tower of cotton candy my sister-in-law Yonina and I so thoroughly enjoyed (we both agreed it was "circus grade"). All in all a great night- so far this is shaping up to be a very kawaii week indeed!

Happy Birthday to me

All my friends are well aware of what a japanophile I am. Nothing that even hints at "geisha" or "harajuku" flits past them without some reference to me. But alas, despite the best intentions, my friends aren't in Japan and can only humor my love of everything Kawaii.
Until of course I met Tim of Porcelain Monkey.
Tim, who lives and teaches in Japan, and also has a wicked sense of style (boy can this man wrap a package) has been generous enough to send me an early birthday present. It includes tabi (traditional socks) for my new geta, the most kawaii stickers ever produced, a Hello Kitty lock which is going to go on all my luggage from now on, and articles on one of my weirder interests: the maid cafes and hostess bars of Japan. So far 24 is shaping up to be one of the best b-days ever!

Congrads to Katie

Life is hard. For the love of god 2 year olds are learning violin and Japanese to get into PRE K- so you can imagine the hoops one has to jump through to get into grad school. Make that HARVARD GRAD SCHOOL. Well my friend Katie who could sneeze and win a noble prize has managed this seemingly impossible feet. One can only hope she won't forget her humble SU roots while hob-nobbing it with the Harvard intelligentsia! If you want to send you Mazel Tov's to Katie be sure to post them here under the "comment" section of this post.

Ocular Migraines suck!

AS I sit here writing this I am mostly blind due to an ocular migraine. So I apologize if my writing is sloppier than usual. Sadly I am at work where I can't just go sleep my blindess off- so I took two exedrin and am praying my site should return to normal in about an hour. Ocular migraines, unlike regular head migraines, don't cause that much- if any- pain. What DOES happen is you go blind (no joke) in the majority of your eyes and what you can see is small and unfocused at best. Usually if I drug myself the instant I feel it happening (and you can tell since you ARE suddenly blind and all) I drug myself and the blindess doesn't last nearly as long. But after a year of beating around the bush I have decided to actually go to my dad's migraine doctor for help because going blind has serious disadvantages! For exaple I'd love to read over this posting and correct it for errors but I'm to blind to do so! This is why teaching kids to type without looking is a good idea, in case of ocualr migraines they're still able to bitch in their blogs!

Now I know why they have secretary's day

Being a secretary, while mostly easy, is hard as heck if no one ever trained you and your groping in the dark. My usual theory is ignore a problem if you don't know how to fix it and maybe it will fix itself. But it's amazing the stuff I've managed to not do because no one told me to do it. I'm not saying it's a good thing- far from it! It's a horrible thing doing your job wrong and not knowing it. No one telling you how to do expense reports (super important) or to issue a travel authorization (super duper important) leads to phone calls months later asking, "excusing me but where is this unbelievably important bit of paper you never gave me?" The good thing about making mistakes is once you do, you never forget. Still- it sucks to make them at all!

All hail Lileks.com!

Observe the first case of computer porn- lovingly copied from Lileks.com (one of the best sites ever). Apparently this computer computed a woman with perfect measurements, not to mention a trendy Mary Tyler Moore hairdo! Who knew computers were so turned on by bouffants? No need to fear porn- you are gonna make it after all!

Happy White Day!

Today in Japan men are faithfully plying women with chocolates, stuffed animals and flowers in retribution for Valentines day. My white day came came early curtesy of my penpal Tim- but for those of you who love an excuse to pester your male loved ones into ponying up some treats here is your chance! Remember, everyday is a holiday somewhere- just look it up! That's what google is for!

Don't we all love venting?

What is the point of having a blog if you can't use it as a public forum to scream and bitch? Today's installment has to do with my Tuesday night advertising class, the bane of my otherwise happy existence. My teacher is a fat, ugly, pompous tool- so much so I find myself doodling cartoon caricatures of him in class- he's lecturing and spitting, his gut hanging way over his pants. Now I realize this guy is some advertising superstar, why else would he be teaching at SVA? But all he's managed to do is make me not want to go into advertising. So our latest assignment was to get paired up at random and do a campaign for "Word Lock"- which is a pretty cool product. I got paired with this girl who actually works at an agency which floors me considering her ideas are crap and she has yet to do the "winning" ad in any of our weekly classes. Well I have had to bend over to accommodate this girl. And for those of you who know me I am not the bend over and do only unto others type. I went to her office to go over the project and in an hour and a half she gave me about 20 minutes- she kept leaving to do her actual agency work. Even though she had assured me it'd be quiet. And then she keeps acting like I should be calling her and keeping up on her- no effort on her part at all. What is this? I mean the teacher HATES me- is this girl stupid? Or maybe smart- if the idea sucks she can say "It's all Halli's" and it the teacher likes it he'll be like "Well clearly Katina is the driving force here".
BULLSHIT!