Ralph and I

If you had told me I would end up in fashion I would have called you a liar. Especially after my Devil Meets Prada "ELLE" internship all those years ago. But here I am- I guess you can't fight loving clothes. It's day 3 of my getting into the RL Collection groove. It is really hard and everyone is super-humanly talented. I don't have a desk which is lame, but we're moving in 2 weeks for to prepare for the February fashion show so really does 2 more weeks of my life without a desk matter that much? What I have learned so far. I need flats. Heels simply will not do. I'm on my feet all day and 2 days of heels made my feet bleed. So this weekend I need to buy flats- lots of them. ooOOOps gotta go....

HAPPY DAY!

I got a job.
No lie.
As an admin for Ralph Lauren Women's Collection (Couture).
I am so excited I haven't been able to type or stop shaking all day.
I am going to be working so hard, but I am so happy.

Joining the circus is not just for kids

I love remembering being 14 and in the circus. It was one of the few times in my life I was cut and active. I loved have callused hands, being able to flip, having the foresight that being in the circus was a badass thing I could whip out in old age (oh you were on track? How nice. I was on the freakin trapeze!)
But cancer decided that I wasn't going to be in Cirque D'Solel.
Losing the circus was for me right up there with going bald.
And so, as the years passed and I developed a mediocre physical ability (never was able to flip as a high diver, can't go up a flight of stairs unwinded) I always reached back for a time I actually didn't suck and my body listened to me. Over the past few months I've tried to fix what's wrong with my life and move forward. I couldn't help but notice a sign on a local church for acrobatics. I walked by this thing 50,000 times before I ate crow and went in yesterday. I was excited and scared, but I figured if I'm taking illustration what harm can another useless class do? The dude heading the classes is named Rudy. His body aches with 50+ years of gymnastics and he's bald but nice and wise like Master Joo. He told me to show up today at 5:30 and see if I liked it.
So I showed up and took a "class" with 10-17 year olds. The scary part was getting along with them. Is it normal to be 24 and have 12 year olds think your awesome? I was scared because I never did trampoline but that was what we were doing. It was fun, and hard! Who knew? I told Rudy I wanted to get back into trapeze or rather, the "silks", which is a form of aerial I was never taught because my French trainer said I wasn't strong enough. Rudy said I could try going on the silks next week! Yea, right now my life IS random. But exciting!

A house divided will fall

Here are the great words of a great man: Abe Lincoln. And on this election day, a time when the phrase "those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it" seems appallingly clear, has it never been more apparent that the reds and blues are divided- and we're all going to suffer as a result. I did my patriotic duty today and voted. I've voted in every election I've been allowed since I turned 18- and even though everyone who was running was a rich immoral bastard I knew it would be even more immoral to let to Republicans keep raping America. So I dragged my ass to the 29th district voting center.

Here's how I vote. It is tres unscientific. And I wish to share it with all the people who spend trillions of dollars figuring out how to get unemployed jerks like me to vote for rich jerks like them. I do one of three things.
1) If I've seen crap about you on the news I'm not voting for you. Killed your mistress? Done coke? You're an asshole- go to hell I'm not voting for you! So automatically unless your on the bill next to Satan, you don't have my vote.
2) You're republican (usually). This is not always the case. Sometimes if the republican is a woman or a Jew or their name sounds nicer then the Dem. they'll have my vote. That's right- watch what you name your kids because shmucks like me are influenced by it.
3) I like the sound of your name. Now I'm not repeating prior statement because "name" can mean many things. Personal tag true (Sam, Ben, Yolanda), but also PARTY name. Take today's example:

I hate everyone running in NY. It seems they're all corrupt and hate me more then I hate them. And they want MY VOTE? So I stepped into that booth wanting to do as little evil for my future as possible. Yea what can 1 vote do? But it's all the power I currently have and I'm molesting it. So I walk in the booth and I see Dem., Rep. (both jerks won't give them my vote) independent (same as Rep.), Green (I like SUV and fur, never going to happen), Socialist (I had a vague memory of hearing that socialists were bad so it was a no-go) and then- I shit you not- I saw the NAME. It was so perfect. I hope somebody go a raise for thinking it up. Probably not because I'd never heard of the party in my life which tells me it has no $$$. It was called the "Rent is the too high" party.
I loved it.
Their second platform could've been killing all first born, but who cared? Rent is to high! I agree! Can I give you 2 votes for creativity? Where can I buy a button? Who wouldn't vote for this party? As I left that booth confident I'd made the world a little better I came away with more than a new party affiliation but a historical truth:
Voting is KAWAII