What's happening Now

Well it's certainly not easy cleaning up the mess 8 years of misdirected education, low self esteem and shitty luck have left me in- but I'm certainly trying! I've begun the fun task of narrowing down graduate schools... well so far just PR and Advertising- I still have the art schools (yeegawds). Doing this without a college advisor sucks ass. Although I must note my college advisor was kind of a bitch so really not having her isn't that bad. I bought a ton of books which I'm weeding through going to the colleges' websites and clicking the "send me resources" box (if one exists), and eliminating the colleges who's websites open up with a big Crucifix and/or have the word Jesus in their slogan. Basically out of 39 that means only 8 have been eliminated so far. I don't mind going to school in Texas, I'd just like to be Jewish whilst I do it.

I'm also applying to non-matriculated classes at local colleges so I can have recent "recommendation letters". Oh- and still plugging away trying to find a legit job too. Now I get to blame the economy on why I'm not getting hired! I feel so good having an excuse other than "I have no idea I must be worthless". I actually am trying to get away from all the negative. Not really sure how I got here but at least I'm making a change now vs waking up when I'm 46 and miserable.

In wedding news here are some pics!


My new lil bro and Kris

Oh and I got the "blue bird of happiness" charm in honor of the lucky bird who pooped on my mom's head.

CELEBRATE!

Now that my Mom and Michael are officially hitched I want to buy a charm to remember the day. Which one do you like? Vote and tell me!

Blue bird of happiness
chocolate cake- like the wedding
chocolate covered strawberry- yum- also like at the wedding
love letter in the mail box

Hot doggers!

What contest is legit without a guy in a hotdog costume?
I enjoyed the corn dog
I love this photo, something very Norman Rockwell about it
Will the USA take the yellow mustard belt again?
Everyone wants to see the eaters
low fat delicacies

oooOOOOhhhh happy day!

Well I'm back in New York and not a minute to soon. Five seconds more in the holy land and I may have died of the heat or a nervous break down. I've been home since Saturday and didn't waste a moment searching for my dress for my mom's wedding. After hitting every major department store in NYC my mother and I were exhausted. She was about ready to kick me in the butt for being such a pain, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find anything. I mean yea I liked a lot of the dress BUT I didn't LOVE them. And then just as we were about to throw in the designer towel my mom pointed out Escada. Why no- I HADN'T gone to Escada yet. Sure, why not?

And there it was- a ruffle vision on sale %60! It's being fitted to me, now all I have to do is figure out shoes!

Ani smeecha mayode!

(I'm very happy)

BAD DAY.

I failed my oral exam. I don't know how. I went to all the freakin classes and did all the freakin HW. Yea I'm not fluent- but FAILED? It's been a bad day....

Say Cheescake!

It's Shavouot- that means eating cheescake, reading the book of Ruth, and having a good old fashion kibbutz parade!!! My ulpan got to ride on the back of a tractor trailor, wear white, and wave flags for our countries. I handmade an America flag since I couldn't find one around. I have to admit it was fun- all the kibbutz kids paraded by, the youngest did the horah, and for the topper all the new babies born on the kibbutz in the past year were brought out and danced with their parents on stage! Chamood may-ode! (so cute)

Westpoint comes to Israel

My sister's boyfriend was host to a bunch of students from Westpoint. The students are here in Israel to learn some Hebrew and Arabic, and to learn about the country and culture they are duty bound to protect. I was able to tag along as we went to Haifa (Baihai gardens), Akko (where the crusaders stayed as they raped and pillaged to Jerusalem), and Ceasaria (the capital of king Herod- of Jesus fame).

Sunflower fields

Japan Anyone?

Least you think I've been head first in everything Israeli these past few months let me correct you. I'm still mad for Japan and am keeping abreast of all things kawaii and kwazy that side of the world.


First off I read a book called "Bar flower" about the modern floating world in Japan (think less Geisha more call girl/ bar hostess). It's the true story of how an American English teacher ended up as a high class bar hostess singing karaoke with drunken old Japanese men. The story is riddled with new characters making it almost impossible to follow anyone but the main character. Also the ending is abrupt and only kind of satisfying at best. However if you've ever contemplated running away to Japan to be a quasi "geisha" this book will put you off the idea completely!.


Secondly- how FREAKIN kawaii is this? Wakayama Electric Railway, a nine-year-old female tortoiseshell cat is a station master for Kishi station on the Kishigawa line in the city of Kinokawa, in Wakayama prefecture. She sits on the ticket gate and gets to wear this kawaii ensemble. Business has quadrupled! And who can blame them? I would make the trip just to photograph this cutie.

Daddy and Jack

The Gods must be crazy

I'm not exactly sure how to explain this weird and exhausting week but I will try.
Monday was spent coughing, sleeping, and sticking medicine in every part of my body the Israelies thought it would help. I was sore, unhappy, and constantly under threat from our ulpan director that I wouldn't be allowed to go on our trip the next day.

Tuesday: Ha! You think that bastard can keep me from dragging my ill butt to the desert? In a fit of what was surely retardedness I joined in my first of many horific desert hikes. Who thought that hiking in the desert, around noon, in the summer, would be fun- is a MORON. At one point the security guard had to literally push me up the mountain. Yea that's how they do it in the Israelie army. Luckily I will never have to be in the flippin Israelie army. After the death hike we went to see where Ben Gurian lived and died (probably one to many death hikes). This was followed by a bus ride to a "Beduin Villiage" where we were to stay the night. It was more like if Disney, Times Square, summer camp, and the Beduin people got togther and built a place for tourists. We watched tea and bread being made, we informed that camel milk is off limits to women because it makes them horny, and got a camel ride. I really did enjoy this! Afterward we had a Beduin dinner (just ehhh) followed by dancing and a drum circle (thumbs up) and slept in a giant tent on mattresses stuffed with what I'm guessing was hay.

Wednesday: We woke up at the butt crack of dawn to drive to Masada. AS I LIVE AND BREATHE I SWEAR I WILL NEVER CLIMB MASADA AGAIN! If I had been slightly intelligent I would have maybe just stayed on the bus. But nooooooooooooooo... I had to go have a cultural experience. Why is it that cultural experiences in this country keep trying to kill me? Masada was followed by a shorter death hike to a natural pool (thank god), where I was able to jump into the water and have fun for five nonsweltering minutes. Then we drove to the dead sea, where there was no mud for us to put on (boo) so we had to suffice with just swimming. PS swimming in the dead sea is BADASS! You just sit there and float around. I highly reccomend it.

Thursday: I was sore and exhausted from so much salt and hiking so I ditched work. When the going was clear we all piled into the Kibbutz Naan pool which is FINALLY open (woohoo!) and swam like happy dogs. One of the things I have yet to experience in Israel is a feeling of mysticism or religious joy. Mostly it's just death hikes and people acting like idiots. My girlfriend Razy told me that, that night in Sfaat there was going to be a religious fest with dancing and bonfires. Hoping to experience the devine I shlepped my ass along. The second we found the right bus stop in Jerusalem we knew there were going to be problems. thousands of HASIDIC jews were trying to cram onto the busses. While we were dressed in long skirts and tops we hadn't expected this to be a specifically hasidic event. WRONG. I drove 4 hours in the back of the bus (women in back) to the biggest religious waste of time ever. The men got to dance and set fires while the women watched the children and just stood there like idiots. This all happened inside what was essentially a massive flea market for messianic chotckes. Since the women were all rude, pushing and carrying their young children around at 3am, we didn't bother in the "viewing area" very long. Some nasty little boy kept stomping on Razy's foot, and then a group of Hasidic women came over and chastized Razy's friend for dressing like a whore. The women said it was a mitzvah to point out when a women is dressed like a whore. But then we reminded her that it was a grevious sin the embarrass someone- BAM IN HER FACE! Boy was she pissed because we were right. Reform girls 1, angry Hasidic women 0. At this point it was 4am and I had, had ENOUGH. I got on a bus to Jersalum where (in the back) I ended up sitting next to a Hasidic woman who thought I WAS ONE TOO. I was too exhausted to correct her and the result was messy at best. But I did learn some sects of Hasidic women really DO SHAVE THEIR HEADS! No lie! So it wasn't a whole waste.

Friday: Sore, delirious with exhaustion, I didn't want to go back to the ulpan and be forced to sit in class (I would have just fallen asleep anyway). So I wandered around Tel Aviv for a few hours beforing busing back home. Had dinner with my kibbutz family, spent some time trying to ride a bike, then came back and passed out like the dead.

Sarah graduates!

My cousin Sarah graduated college this weekend!!! Snapps to her!

My weekend

We went to our kibbutz club this weekend where the crowd was a mad house because some famous dude was playing (above). Because of said famous dude the age limit was 20. Not an issue for me (I've been legal 5 years) but when most of the ulpanists are 18 it's a huge flippin deal. We were sneaking around until I was like WTF I am too old for this. Eventually some of us got in. I enjoyed the moshing with the 7ft Russel pummeling the small Israelie dudes. All in all a good time.

Painting the roses red...

I worked in the garden today. Notice I didn't say my new job is in the garden- because hopefully that may change soon. But in the mean time I am waking up at 5am and making Naan a more beautiful place. For my first assignment they dropped us off and told us to behead a garden of rose bushes. Aparently this makes them stronger for next year- but since most of them were still young and full bloom it felt very very WRONG. As I went around chopping off those helpless red roses I couldn't help but be reminded of poor Alice in Wonderland, assisting the guards as they painted the white roses red.....

In other big, BIG NEWS Sophia (my sis in law) is preggers! I will be an aunt for the 4th time this November!!!

7 Down... 20 more to go

My ulpan is rapidly shrinking. As of today definatly 2, and maybe as many as five people are kicked out for doing drugs. That would make it 12 since the begining of ulpan. I'm not sure I would want to stay in a ulpan with 5 people but what can you do. One of the people caught smoking is MY roommate. I'm not gonna lie, I like my roommate and I would be sad if she wasn't here anymore. Look out in the mail for letters from me!

This blog is HAMAYTZ!

I just returned from the North where I experienced an orthodox Passover. I don't know how bread got on the windows and under the bathroom shelves but somehow the whole freakin place was "hamaytz" and we had to clean. Seder was nice except I got sick early and went to bed. The next day we all participated in a walk to remember falled soldiers along the sea of Galalee. It was very hot, up hill, and I was to tired to remember english let alone Hebrew. The next day I went hiking with Yoav in the Golan hieghts. I saw the remains of war torn Seria, mine fields, and a beautiful waterfall. Now I'm back and Naan not sure what comes next....

Thinking rash-ly

Over the past two weeks I’ve been noticing a rash forming all over my arms. At first I thought it was kiwi, or some other fresh fruit I’d been ingesting. I even feared my beloved peaches and nectarines might be the cause. But the rash didn’t go away, no matter how many things I dropped from my diet. By this morning it was down to my elbows- and then I freaked out. So I left class and went to our pitiful kibbutz clinic. SHOCKER! They didn’t know what it was. Next thing I knew I was on a shuttle to the Rehovot hospital. Horary for socialized medicine. An ancient trilobite of a dermatologist looked me over and figured out my problem- cleaning toilets. This is my job on the kibbutz and apparently I’ve become allergic to it! See I always knew there was a reason I was an awful cleaner, my body literally rejects cleaning! I was able to pick up some creams from the pharmacy and now I await my new job, whatever that may be.

Since I was in Rehovot anyway I decided to go shopping for stuff I needed: shampoo, lint remover, some kiwis (which I am NOT allergic too) at the shook, and then into the mall to buy some painting supplies. Some of you may know my past week was pretty intense- the highs and lows were massive, and my home sickness was extreme. My best friend Rachel suggested I do something very American like see a movie.
What a great idea! So I bought a ticket and waited to go see “Superhero movie”. Jeez you’d think I was seeing a film in communist Russia. First of all they make you wait OUTSIDE the theatre until it’s time for the film. Then everyone is allowed in. Granted to seats were big and fluffy. They the movie starts RIGHT AWAY- no waiting for 20 minutes like in America. It’s like ::BAM:: movie! So then I’m watching and like 60 minutes into it they turned off the film. Everyone in the theatre got up and was like “hafsaka!”(break)
So when in Rome…. I got up, got some popcorn and ::BAM:: the movie started again. Weiiiiiiird. As for the film it was pretty OK, some good lines, but nothing to run to.

And before I go I want to thank everyone for making me feel like the most loved girl in Israel. I got not one- but THREE packages this week! From my Dad, Grandma, and Timsan. THANKS!!!

My New Painting

I'm probably going to give this to the ulpan because they have some crap art here. Seriously.

YOUTUBE!

Ok... so the quality is crap- what do you expect with wretched internet like mine? But here is a kibbutz Naan Video!

Purim for Kita Aleph

BEST BIRTHDAY YET!

26 on the 26th really IS lucky! Who knew?
It all started the day before when I hit up Tel Aviv for some shopping and sushi with my french girls.After we came back, and everyone headed to the pub where insane drinking insued. I ate french fries, drank like a fish, played pool, drank some more,danced, kept drinking.... by midnight I was trashed. Everyone brought out a cake and sang happy birthday (I was delerious with glee). The next morning I was awoken at the crack of dawn by my mom- SHE'S FINALLY ENGAGED! I had this wonderful news to carry me through the day as I opened presents, cards, got two packages, ate junk food, had a picnic with my friend Adam and threw a minnie party in the evening (no drinking for me just lots of good food). My phone rang all day with well wishes from family around the globe- truly it was the best birthday I've had yet.....in retrospect I should have bought a lottery ticket!
Ah well, I feel like I've won the life lottery all the same.